The Sunny side of Corona…

Governed by the side in you, which takes prominence in your life, is what makes us what we are.

No I am not theorising , but am telling you what I know.

The 13th of march, 2020, a day in my life, where Corona did manage to engage me for the longest period of time, creating a dark phase in the otherwise, light side of life,

The more I dwelt the more darker it became, until a time when the phone rang and from the other end sprang up a cheerful voice,

“Hello aunty, how are you?”

“Well whose this, is it Aarti?”

“Yes, aunty, just called to ask how are things with you?”

“Fine darling”, I replied. ( I was lying, I was far from it.)

Well, her bubbly voice, resonated with a tangy tingle from my within, which was associated, with childhood memories of our tangy snacky  chaat, comprising of sev puri, and bhel, India’s age old chaat, enjoyed with the evening chatter, the most sought after period of the day.

So my next very spontaneous  question to her was “Hey, would you like some chaat”?

Sure aunty,  I’ll be right there”, so she said.

Aarti, lit up my otherwise dark evening and as we chatted over chaat, she handed over to me a book by Sark ” Juicy Pens and Thirsty Paper”,

I was half way through the book, when I paused to write this to all of you, I was indeed thirsting to write.

Well here I am penning down all of this, which lay in the dark, within, and bringing it to light by toppling it upside down, so we have that side up which is sunny, that it indeed seems funny , that  a flip over is all you need to come out of a dark spell.

Guys ,as the night ended bringing in the promise of a new morning, so did these few revelations , bring in the sunlight of the day like never before.

Corona came in like a gust to bust the activities we’ve been performing with gusto.

Is it not true that we do not know who we are?

Or what we are doing ,in the world of a strong movement, where all of us whirl around like in a whirl wind?

Look around and you will see, that we have succeeded in creating a world of pollution, by the numerous activities we rush around performing from dawn to dusk, running around like mad hatters, and the more we rush and have no time, the more important we think we are .

Stupid mindless fools!

Its time nature took things in its hands.

Pause a while, get off the giant wheel swaying you back and forth, and round and round,

Look around and as you do so, you will realise you could do without the flamboyance you are living.

Now as panic sets in , you stock up your homes.

It will do you good to remember to pick up the essentials only, as now is not the time to splurge, but to save for the rainy days ahead.

Save  resources, and space out your sources,  enjoying your solitude like never before.

For soon will come the day when you will know the worth of actual living.

Live naturally, live well, eat sufficient and save energy for a better cause,

Cause right now you and me, and all around,

Have to keep still and lie low,

Till the tide passes and wisdom arises,

Where parties and social gatherings, will know their place,

and will occur when ” All work and no play make Jack a dull boy, and not where Jack makes jobs out of them, and so weary does he get, that he forgets, there is a day without them”

Yes, social commitments are so many, that your commitment to yourself  lies far behind.

Today  we all accept a social responsibility as the turn of events suggests we do.

Don’t you think like I do that someone out there, up above, is winking as he smiles at us from above  telling us” Sorry guys, you didn’t see sense , I tried all tricks but they didn’t work, as all of you thought it couldn’t be you.” Now you know it isn’t true,

As Corona can reach out to you and you and you…

So beware friend and learn fast the secret I want to share,

Life is at its best, when you are at rest.
Stress, commitments, competition, all of which the ego fancies, can you stop it all?

As status and power are defined by this madness, and if you dare to oppose so, you are not only looked down at but ridiculed and isolated.

Well most of us get into the band wagon of the mad hatters and the ones who don’t can have the last laugh now.

Corona has come with a bang ,

A calling to oust ridiculous operations, and negative actions.

Does not the corona spell just this?

As health is wealth, and you have come in to this fine earth , so make sure you are here, for as long as you learn,

The secret you came to learn.

Do not get waylaid and focus on  the core of our very existence.

So now dear friends, in the wake of the corona virus, instead of only looking at the fall and fear in it all, lets see the flip side, that in it  we are together, each equipping the other, some with a realisation that all is not about theatres and malls, and social activity, but is also about a society whose socialising is in its actual care to arrest the virus, and prevent it from spreading widespread.

In this society we call ours, in whose good books we will do anything to be in,  lets rush to its clarion call and arrest the virus each in our own ways.

We’ve heard it all,

“Create awareness among your neighbours,”

“Do not crowd and visit too many public places, to avoid contracting or spreading the same”.

For a change can we all sit back and put our energies into constructive use?

On the flip side this is the best time where we can all gather our energies together and positively join hands to safeguard the world from deadly events and virus.

So what if you can’t party, your party begins at home, when as you flip over, you realise there is a lot more on this lovely planet than the so called party, and abuse of resources, we’ve been continuously indulging into over the years.

As the signal turns red, lets stop and explore all possibilities on this side of life, the side unexplored.

The fusion of religion and science where religion is the gathering of energies to focus positively. Using the higher intellect, to study the structure of the physical and natural world,  is science .

Today is the time, when we gather together, cause we are all of one family, over the world over.

Let’s explore this side, the sunny side up, and as we do so , out pops up the special hidden pop up, there is a funny side here, until now  the division of the entire world was distinct, and today as you see it the unison is distinct. Yes, today we are all in unison, universally whole…

Did it take  a Corona Virus to get us all together the world over?

 

 

Women’s Day Special..

As much as I abhor this title, I felt the need to title this blog so.

I did not want to mention this, but the many videos and articles I received on Women’s day, describing the many grievances of women, and how they should fight back for their rights, incited me to write this.

What do you mean by Women’s day?

Is it  just the day you want to be coddled, cuddled pampered and appreciated for all the suffering you have taken, and do you also want to just have your back patted for being the martyr you have been?

OR

is it that day in your life when realisation comes in as to what is the hidden meaning of a woman?

If you are in with the first option, and will be satisfied with all the freebies, and previliges being a woman you can receive for the many sacrifices you have made, in life, then go ahead and enjoy your so called Women’s Day.

And if you are in for the second option, where you feel a lot more is there to it than just the above, then do  read the letter below:

Dear Women,

This is an open letter to all of you, who are women of substance.

I love being a woman, the woman I am.

Female energy, is symbolised as Maa Durga,

The embodiment of Maa Saraswati, Maa Lakshmi, and Maa Kali.

Knowledge- Saraswati, Lakshmi- wealth, and Kali  the divine, though fierce is the goddess of creation, preservation and destruction.

Together is what we’ll define as a woman.

Women empowerment dear friends, Heard it but do we know it?

Well it stems from the correct use of all these powers.

Knowledge bountiful, stems from within, as wisdom does, which empowers the woman of those qualities, which only she can possess.

Cool, Calm, patient, she is the one who can top all when it comes to crisis management in the family.

Well, she can thus sustain the wealth in the family, by ensuring, health, happiness and love, the true wealth.

And to top it all she and she is the only one, who can create an environment of  peace and good will, empowering the younger woman to flower into a woman with a free will and free spirit, and create a haven on earth free from oppression, supression, and free from the mass screaming of women who shout and demand for their rights.

Women’s lib they call it.

Well how can they be liberated when sustaining their down trodden status are women suppressing them.

Women are the enemies of women, and they appear in the form of sadistic mother in laws, elder women, who happen to gain a status in life, after being suppressed all their life.

Now they take sadistic pleasure in suppressing the younger women, seeing that they wither before they bloom.

Come on women, whom are you trying to fool?

The world? or are you fooling yourself in believing that some one else is responsible for women being down trodden?

“We have suffered all our lives, and now we have a right to live on our terms”, say the women of many seasons.

Yes you  do , I agree, but as you grow you are wise enough to know, that you can live the years you lost,

In the lives of your little daughters, daughter in laws and all the young women who are about to bloom today.

Please use your position today, to help them bloom, realise your dream in theirs, isin’t it one and the same?

Think about it .

For eg: If you are a mother in law, then understand that your daughter in law needs the space and freedom, you never got, and give it to her, by offering her a helping hand with soothing compassion so that she can follow her dream, and in seeing her realising hers, you will ultimately know you have realised yours too.

Instead if you live with a vengeance feeling victimised all the time and so with a vengeance want to hit back by making her the punching bag, then sorry to say you have contributed in creating a society where women will continue to be down trodden, and suppressed because the beasts are not the men, but women of your kind.

It has happened earlier and will go on for time immemorial, as you do not want to be one of those who can step down, thus breaking the chain of a never ending cycle.

You can be a trend setter, step down and claim your true position, by being a  true women, a woman of substance,  and stand up for women, cause women in power can do wonders like the goddess Kali, only see that goddess Saraswati moves along with you, and then as goddess Lakshmi assists you in holding on to the wealth of your knowledge, that is when you can create a new world and destroy  evil from a society like the goddess of Kali.

Come on dear women wake up to the clarion call, our women need to bloom into the beauties they are.

Liberate yourselves from old conditioning and embrace the new generation with warmth and love, and then the passion that comes in with compassion will make the world spellbound as  it will be filled with blooming flowers of love and light everywhere.

 

 

As you bust the block..

Bust the Block that pins you down,

Refusing to let you fly on,

Far away where your heart awaits,

Far beyond you can comprehend,

And far away from the tyranny of the ego,

That ego that never sets you free,

As its gilded cage, is like a bait,

Yes the trap is set, and you fall in,

All along,  you think you do,

All that has to be done,

Well stop a while my dear friend and look around,

Was this the meaning of life?

Or was it the block you refuse to let go?

Urging you on to the path of despair,

Cause yonder comes the day,

When your services are no longer required,

Then my dear friend  do you feel cheated,

Or do you take it in your stride.

Well the ones who feel cheated, have ego by their side,

The very ego that  said, you are the best,

You are indispensable, one of a kind,

Oh what a find,

You always do for others, and never think of yourself,

Oh what a noble soul are you

All along it cheated you to believe, you were a find,

And weary though you were, you worked till your body, gave way,

To aches and pains, and the mind though weary,

Goaded by the ego, and the flatter,

Bent itself till it cracked.

Then came the day , when it was no longer needed,

This didn’t go well with the ego,

It hurt, and protested,

Only to realise it was to dead walls.

Then as it lay, sad and disgruntled,

A voice from within, said to it, please vacate,

I am here to take my rightful place,

Yes the block was busted,

And along with the heart,

Came in the light,

Of love and joy,

As out flew the real you,

Who knew, then, that this was for real,

Away from the image of the mind,

Joyous in its find,

Oblivious of hurt and pain,

As the blocks busted

It opened the doors to the heart,

The heart said ” I am your true you,

Do remember you are responsible for only you,

You have come into this world for you,

Whatever you do it is only for you,

You nurture your children, love your family for you,

You work for a living for you,

you play these roles for you,

Then when you grow out of these roles,

You find others, for you,

Your heart calling, come on now, we are done here,

The next stage is ready,

Well you play it, till you are now ready to fly away,

For ever into that dimension, of time and space, where there is none.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Block Buster

When calls the heart, is when the blocks burst from within,

So when I heard myself, tell myself, bust it,

Bust the block, I knew my heart had taken over.

Logic, and reasoning,

But, If and Why,  are dangerous in

themselves.

“Its a lovely day, lets go out”

” but then, what about all the work pending at home?”

No, No, lets finish it first.

Blocked are you?

At the particular instance when the first thought occurs instinctively, we block it by the 2nd very logical statement.

Our life is all reason and logic, do we have a place for ourselves, by ourselves, or are we governed by the blocks created by us over periods of time, unknowingly.

It all begins very harmlessly, when as I remember my days of strive,   I just don’t go back in time, but I am reminiscing the root of the block.

When a pile of work is pending, it stays in a corner of the mind, which keeps gnawing back at you, to finish it , so whenever I went out with friends that little work pending would come in the forefront, and push off the fun element, right out of the moment, shoving it off in a corner, where it would stay put closed for ever.

Well I am not stating that work can’t be fun too, but too much work and less play, makes Jack a dull boy.

I didn’t realise it then.

In the bargain,  blocks were created, slowly over the years, and as they passed, jobs diminished, aches set in, the body said stop a while, look around, at the world, like you never did, but the mind went on, and on , and on.

As I walked down the path, aimlessly, the other day, it suddenly urged me, to rush.

Rush  I did, and as I opened the door to my home, huffing and puffing, I looked around at the empty room.

What was it that made me rush, and then instantly gushed realisation, it was the silly mind playing up again.

There was no one home.

My children were settled in homes of their own, and I was home alone,

No big deal was it?

However, as I rushed back home, looking out for things to do,

as my old patterns suggested, and knowing there was nothing to do,

On this path, I felt lonely.

All I had to do, was change my path.

Change it to the path, which led me on, to a new world, a world where I now belonged.

But the blocks were obstacles not letting me leave the path where I did not belong, and all of a sudden I felt caged.

Like a caged animal I wandered within the imaginary boundaries, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, but refusing to let go of the cage which bound me so.

Maya, my aunty, lived a life of struggle, her husband was a miser and a cynic, and though in her youth she was jolly, and kind,  however living with a man like him, changed her brain cells , she started working hard for a living.

Her mornings would begin at 3.30 am, and after cooking she would leave for her school at 7am, she was then a teacher of a school in Dadar, and she found her peace so she thought, by working hard. She would be back by 12pm everyday, and complete her daily chores, preparing for the next day, till her husband came back at 4pm. Then they would have tea together, and after an early dinner retire for the day.

Eventually her hard work payed off and she became the principal of the school.

Whenever we visited her, she would excitedly greet us and even shorten her afternoon schedule to spend time with us, and come shopping and eating and having fun to her hearts content.

She never had children, however, she would enjoy with us, and in the later years with our children too.

The child in her would come out and greet us with fervour and spirit, and we really had crazy times together.

But come what may, as the clock struck 4, like Cindrella she would be back home, to attend to the needs of her husband.

Many a times her heart would tell her to just leave him and run away.

She was well educated done her MA and BED, and had no children. It was easy so I thought, but her mind stopped her.

What will the world say? she would tell us.

I wondered who the world was, and why do we get so affected by it.

As I grew up I realised that this too was one of the blocks, preventing us from moving on to the path dictated by our heart.

We move along with the mind, again with logic reasoning and proclaim it as wisdom.

However, unknown to us we are caged prisoners, and as we grow old and frail, when our duties are done, and when society expectations, family expectations, retreat, we are left in the lurch, as the heart retreated too. A long time ago.

As you step back away from this vicious cycle, you realise things were not meant to be done the way they were done.

You are not responsible for any one except yourself, and doing what you do, does not make you responsible for anyone, except when you do it , you accept a responsibility towards yourself.

When you accept that you do things for your family, for your sake, and not for theirs, then and only then can you live life the way it is to be.

That’s how you can smile, and enjoy, every aspect of what you do, with an element of fun,  without finding it to be cumbersome or a burden.

Then the switch over is easy, you are dependant on your own happiness, there was no pressure to perform then, and there is no pressure now.

I could then have a switch over, easily, as I am responsible for myself.

It made me happy to serve my family, and I did so, and now as time passes, my new role, is to write my heartfelt feelings down, and publish them, to whomsoever wishes to read.

My now, tells me to enjoy what comes in naturally, may be a sick aunt who needs help and I am available, so go ahead and extend a helping hand.

When your eyes are wide open, you can see the helpless look on a passer by, reach out and help within your means.

Not because they ask for it, but because you want to, because you are responsible for yourself.

That is when your heart is with you, and not tucked away in some corner, where you grope and hope to recover, but in vain.

But unfortunately we are vain, as our egos love the fore front, so here we go, the ego searches for the importance it was used to, how can it take a back seat, when the heart comes in to take its rightful place. So it pleads , coming up with various ideas to hold on to its past glory, and then when it fails, it is hurt, and gets lonely, and the rest is history, an end which begins and begins to end over and over again, all stories then end and begin in the same cycle.

So here I end with Maya auntie’s end, not different from most

In her strive to please her husband,   the cynicism and suspicious nature of her husband rubbed on to her, and she died a death which she forced on to herself.

She wanted to die, and stubborn enough she threw her medicines ( she had a weak stomach, as grief gripped her, and psychologically she wanted never to be well) out of the window, requesting the chat man to provide her all the food she was forbidden to eat.

Denying and defying life, she breathed her last, and  much to our sorrow, we saw her go, once a spirited soul, alive in every way, ended her spirit, her love for life, and died long before she actually died.

Friends, let’s commit ourselves to follow our hearts to the very end , do not let it hide in any corner, far away to find, as it truly is the only buster to your blocks for a block buster life…

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful… A Short Poem..

In Dedication to Pushpa…. my mother.

 

To the beauty
I just got to know.

As I look with eyes to find,
I see the beauty behind,
An old woman, on a crutch,
Her hair white with shades of grey,
She sits on a bench in the middle of a park,
Her eyes all moist, as she reminisced her spark,
Yes, the beauty of the moment was unbelievable,
As the tale she said was believable,
She was once a school girl, with a grit,
And there her eyes sparkled with glint,
As she went back to those days when she ran,
Among the little butterflies, in parks of the same kind,
She looked on to see old women on crutches,
Wondering how they got there,
For she was sure she was far from there,
She would never ever want to be in their shoes,
Even though it meant, doing all it does,
To remain where she was.

Well one night as she dreamt, of the wilderness of the jungle, with its dangerous beasts, staring at her, and in the face of the fear,
She saw herself, face them with a grit unknown, cause, suddenly fear stared at her with fear.
All it wanted to do was retreat,
Retreat into, it’s unreal world, never to show up to her, who lived in real.
Then one day years later, as she walked on, into the park, with crutches on,
Then she realised, she was one with that old woman on a crutch,
She looked around for traces of her, and when nowhere could she find her,
She knew she had taken indeed her place,
And slowly as she realised, the space,
Between them indeed encompassed,
Merging into a reunion of souls who differed to unite.
Underneath the various trees, they learnt to live and love,
For better or worse,
They knew for sure, they were at the edge,
And as they united into that light,
They knew they had won, the game of life.

As you slowly crawl into the realm of life

Dear Meher,

Today you are all of 5 months old,

Crawling in, may you take life as it comes by,

Pure as you are today,

May you be so everyday,

In the bitter sweet journey of life,

Enjoying both, may you remain untouched.

Thus constantly moving in this journey of life,

May you see it as it is.

As you crawl and mingle with other fellow mates,

May you never forget your sweet little self,

Our sweet little elf,

Nearest to the heart of the divine,

May you always reside in  love and peace,

Your love and glow,

May it be the light  you carry as you go,

Deep into the realms of a life you little know.

Loads of love, and wishes, as you crawl ahead,

to reach the point where you walk straight and proud,

Into the world of sorts, untouched and unaffected,

May you spread your love and light, to all in sight.

My lovely darling, as you grow,

I wish for you to know,

That life is love, and only love…

Yours truly,

Grandma…

 

A shift within…

Practice what you preach..

I told myself very sternly this morning.

Was writing this article on worry and understanding yesterday, and was to complete it today when in popped in the unwanted guest, worry ,ushering the wanted out…

Yes, worry entered my peaceful domain, much to my discernment, and unable to withstand my double standards, I stepped back, retreating from where I had come to, back into where I was,  I was at the pinnacle of understanding, my wanted companion, when worry caught hold of me, and told me, do not leave,me your friend behind…

Then in zoomed my habitual behaviour,  Oh, did I just say and do right?

Why was I always behind Pratibha, who just couldn’t help but depend on me?

What would happen to her if I did not just stand up for her, always and every time?

Would she be able to survive it?

And the worry went on gnawing within uprooting my very organs, until yes, I stood away..

I could see me from me.

This was me, a brooder only concerned about the self,  and I was this no different from what I saw.

Then  I ushered in Understanding,

And as understanding stood by me, I grew tall and large, overlooking the worry as if it never was,

Understanding told me that worry inhabits itself within, and doesn’t come from out.

It was here, when you were out, enjoying and basking in the sun,

and it was also here when you were in due to a storm.

All it knew was to inhabit your within, so that  you make it your habit.

It told me that ” We,( understanding and worry ), are sides of the same coin, and are present everywhere in all situations.

I’m the tail side.

Unfortunately, all of you choose heads over tails,

Choose me, ( cause you are what you choose to be), and then you will know dear friend that I am your true you, and will see you are fine, come rain and shine…

Worry is a habit, and Understanding is the light that you become, as you shed your habits…

Now Chintha and Chinthan…

Worry and  Understanding .. trail from sensitiveness and sensitivity respectively.

As I said why worry to my friend Preeti, I immediately realised that

I  had offended the worrier,

“Oh yes,sitting by the window side, looking out of the window, and typing away to glory, you can afford to say so, but look at me, working all day, with a meagre income, and 2 children to feed, I  worry about their future often, and what have I to understand, it is for you to understand my plight, and find a solution out for me, instead of harping all the time  your favourite dialogue” Why Worry”?

Ask me and I’ll give you a hundred reasons why one should worry”, retorted Preeti, seemingly irritated with me.

Well I thought to myself ” Have I hit upon a sensitive chord and was it something I could not change ? Could I just understand her situation and let be for now, as she was in no mood to accept my advice

Anyway, years passed by, and having met Preeti the other day, I was surprised and shocked too.

She had the same frown on her face, and her brows were raised causing the forehead to wrinkle as one would when one is overly worried.

What now? I wondered, and did not have to wonder for long, when she came up to me, and burst out, sobbing,

Radha she said, I sure am disturbed,

You know Preena my daughter, had passed with flying colours, and had given a fantastic interview, only to receive a letter of rejection from the company, she so desired to join.

I need to act fast, and work out a way of getting her a job before she feels dejected and goes into a depression.

Wasn’t she the Preeti I had known?

I took her hands in mine, and looked at her face weary with worry.

Kissed her forehead and told her I understand.

She retorted “what do you understand?”

I grinned and  said , “I understand that worry has understood that to remain secure it needs to inhabit you.”

What?  she shrieked!

Stop playing tricks Radha, and for once explain to me what you mean.

Well, I replied, are you willing to listen?

Yes, oh yes.

Ok then let’s meet for coffee.

So the next day, as we sat down for a cup of coffee, I smiled and told her,

“Darling, I guess you are ready for a change,  observe and you will know,

You will understand things from now on, and as you understand them, you will also understand the forces of life, which lead you on.

Understanding those forces, and going along, will take you where you are meant to be, higher above, away from worry.

Observe yourself, you are the worry, as you are centred in the self,  and as you see yourself as this ,you will understand yourself, accept the way you are, and the very knowing and acceptance of yourself,  will transform you.

Chinta, most of our life is spent here.

Chinthan stands out knocking at the door, asking to be let in.

The room occupied by Chinta can never make way for Chintan.

When we start our day with Chinthan, we have made a head start.

Then I told her the story of Aryan.

Aryan, decided to quit his job of long standing as his work environment was non- conducive and he knew he could not survive in such negativity.

He was a sensitive soul, so quit his job, and was on the look out for a new job but in vain.

After worrying and running helter -skelter for jobs, he got up one morning, and told himself, that today he was just going to take it cool, and by that he meant, he would relax and take a day off from his cycle of worrying and hunting for jobs.

So, he sat down and had a hot cup of coffee, leisurely talking to his mother, and consciously avoiding any thoughts leading to worry and negativity.

As he sat with his mother, she spoke to him about all the events which happened during the past few days, while he was running from pillar to post.

He was astonished to hear that such major events happened all around him and that he was blind to them.

As she spoke, he consciously decided to look around, and understand situations around him.

In his sensitiveness, which comes when you are obsessed by the self, he had lost the finesse of sensitivity, and he decided to restore it.

 

All he did for the next few days was to meet people and discuss their various issues and concerns and provide apt solutions. It was not long before people looked up to him, and he built a good will to last him for ever.

On the basis of this strong foundation, he opened a consultancy firm, and soon had a flourishing business which he enjoyed doing.

What Aryan did was no rocket science, it just involved a shift in his thinking process, he changed his track, from the lower Chinta to the higher Chinthan.

From Sensitiveness to Sensitivity.

The tables turned, his circumstances changed, and lifted him up to higher newer pastures.

So all we need to alter in our daily life is our habit of worrying and brooding all the time, as the self and indulgence in the self, does not let us proceed beyond.

Whenever you worry, you are at stand still position, shift the gear to understanding, thus enabling you to cross over obstacles,  reaching you to the highest peak, where up above, you see things as they are, crystal clear….., where you are one with all.

 

 

 

 

Their story will it be Ours? Let’s create our own…

As I walked in the garden today, I suddenly happened to chance on an old women sitting lone on a bench.

Her eyes were closed, her breath was steady as she was doing her customary breathing exercises.

A few rounds later, it was my last round, so looking up to her, and seeing her looking at me, I smiled and waved good bye, as I was about to leave the park.

She smiled back and looking approvingly at me, told me that she needed to walk too, and her children always goaded her, telling her that she should keep fit by walking, but somehow she said she was just not up to it.

I told her to relax and not stress too much, but if she could walk a little with her walking stick, she would do herself good as her muscles would strengthen slowly and not stiffen up.

She smiled and said she would try to do so.

Feeling of Loneliness

Then all of a sudden a burst of emotion sprang up within her, and she told me that she missed her partner, her dear husband who died a few years ago, and with whom her bond had been so strong, that nothing else mattered.

Now she felt all her children had teamed up against her, and she was a lone recipient of all their advices and judgements regarding how she should conduct herself socially etc. She said she had become so sensitive, that she felt very lonely and depressed.

I remembered my mother then, who expired 5 years ago, telling me the same thing.

Then I could not understand her, and felt that she was just being oversensitive, and of course as dutiful children we had her best interests in mind.

Our elderly parents need understanding, and as children, we do everything possible we can, except the one important aspect which they so truly require, and that is understanding.

Understanding them may not be so difficult if we just put ourselves in their shoes.

Just imagine, in their own homes, where they were so indispensable, when home was never the same, without their warm touch, where lying down on the couch, you would just yell out ” Mom what’s for lunch?”

When anything at home was amiss, it was taken for granted that she would set things right, where was she now?

Or remember the days when you were short of funds and Dad would happily fund you, or the days when times were tough and you would just go up to them for a comforting word and no sooner did they comfort you, you felt you had won the world over.

No matter what they loved you unconditionally.

Okay now so what if some of us did not receive their love and kindness as mentioned above, maybe for reasons best known to them.

It could be due to their stressful circumstances or anything else, could we just get ourselves to the point of we don’t know why?

Could we give them that benefit of doubt in the form of understanding them now.

Now is when they need us to understand, they are helpless and lonely, as a transition has occurred in their lives, they transited from a world of worldly duties to a world where they require duties to be conferred on to them, as they await the setting of the sun in their lives.

Well here is where we need to have a transition in the way we look at  performing our duties towards them.

No I’m not going to make it difficult for all of you out there who have to transcend the way they perform, cause if I do so , I’ll never forgive myself, I just want you to know it needn’t be so bad after all.

I wish I thought this way earlier, well this one is for the one who doesn’t want a regret later.

Dear friends, everything passes on, except the feeling of regret.

Its simple darlings,  but why do the simple things seem most complicated?

Cause we do not want a change, in the way we look at things.

That is why things move round and round in a circle.

We work at what we know best and are habituated to over the years, and if there is one thing none of us are habituated to is listening to elders who need our help, emotionally, morally and physically.

Most of the time we can physically provide for them, but in the emotional and moral front we can land up with zeros.

Why?

We feel we have to walk the whole path, to reach them emotionally and morally.

They just do not seem to understand too.

We are responsible for everything at home, and when we are physically and mentally drained here pops out their demands.

Oh please come and sit with us, we are lonely, or can you take me to the garden etc .

You can hire all the help they need, but they are not satisfied.

However understanding them can lead to wonderful solutions, as one of them did tell me, all they wanted was a feeling of belonging,  yes this was their home too, and  they would love to call their friends over, and decide the menu for the day.

Yes it seemed simple didn’t it, this dear lady told me that her building friends, all four of them were quite lonely after the death of their spouses, and if they could call their friends over, it would be wonderful, considering their turn would be once a month.

Seemed fantastic.

As long as you live, relationships are a part of your life, and they are the crux of living.

Also a sincere advice to all of us who are also going to someday  be where these dear elderly ladies are today.

All our life we run away from loneliness, only to be cornered by it at the fag end of our lives.

The word frightens us, and we seek outward sources, in the form of attachment, and entertainment, creating relations which are not actual, as all the time they are made, by us due to our self centeredness.

We marry and want children because we do not want to be lonely during our later years,  In India especially, we stay with our children and put up with their whims and fancies almost giving our everything to them, till we can, just to shirk loneliness and the fear of being uncared for during our last years.

Will it not the same?

Their story and ours?

Nature we feel is designed so, but no, it is not so, 

If it were then loneliness would be uncalled for.

Reproduction is a life process, and it is required for continuity, of the human species.

Can we not just do so, without bringing in images designed by our self centeredness, images of rights and wrongs, likes and dislikes.

Why do all our relationships centre around us.

” Let me do this for him, so he will also care for me,” etc

Then why are we cornered eventually by the very loneliness we shirk.

Is not then this loneliness from within?

Truly look within, and we will know, that everything we’ve created outwardly, is just for our inner solace, and outwardly things can change.

You make contacts, if you want to promote your work, or be famous, and make friends so that you are not alone.

Well everything changes, except that inner you. You keep your aims , desires and images , they do not leave you, and when the outside world says good bye you are where you are. In isolation and loneliness.

When dependency and attachment are your friends, then there is isolation, as these ladies feel today.  All of a sudden they were in the midst of activity and were glowing with pride, attached to their homes and families and then outwardly all entertainment was within their reach.

They also formed images of right and wrong, and conflicts were a part of everyday life, unknown to them. Well however, it was then that they could deal with these, today, they are lost as they are immobile, and dependency has increased,

Today their very images of ideal life, and ideal families are creating these conflicts thus making them lonely and unhappy.

So guys keep fit and do your bit, unattached with no dependency and expectancy on any one , thus enjoying your days today and tomorrow, and not holding on to any preference, or image, and rest assured then that the flip side,  which will meet us  in the morrow, with its lows will have  its highs too.

Then and only then their story will not be ours. We will create our own…..

Understood ? Did you?

Forgive me if I encroach into a space not mine,

Let go if I hold on to a grudge, and frown,

Smile if I screech at you for no reason,

Well do you think I’m asking from you the impossible?

Is it a Gandhian approach?

Or is it what one might call a spineless act?

Well none of the above qualify, as true, when you really do what  one would do,

The one with an understanding, a real understanding of the forces behind life’s design.

Laws are made in life, by minds who think logical, and rules are made for the convenience of people, and in order that one doesn’t take the others, or harm the other.

However, those who put blinds on their eyes and move on planet earth as if like horses blinders, only following the road of rules, fail to miss the rule of  life.

Work with a deeper instinct, one which enables you to remove your blinders and look around seeing things you usually do not.

Real Meaning of Understanding

Here’s to Jayanti, a soft hearted kind soul is she, however at the same time a stickler for the right and wrong , she strives hard for a living, and perfectionist Jayanti almost always refuses to see the other side, of any action, which is performed not in conformity to the dictates of life.

So the other day as she came home from a hard day’s work satisfied that she had done her best, she sat down to relax on her favourite arm chair, and happened to look around, when she heard cars brake to a screeching halt. So loud was the noise, that her window panes rattled. As she looked out, she saw the man from the first car get out, and force the other out, accusing him and abusing him  of trying to overtake him, and thus telling him he may have caused damage to his vehicle The driver in the 2nd car, was honking and trying to overtake from the left, which was not in conformity with traffic rules and regulations.

As Jayanti looked out of the window, she was sure that the man who was trying to explain the rules to the other was very justified in doing so. However looking closely she realised that the  man from the other car was folding his hands and requesting him to let him go, a doctor he was and there was an emergency case to be attended to.

In this frenzy there was a traffic jam caused and the whole lane was jammed and all traffic was at stand still.

As Jayanti stood away and observed the whole incident she realised that this was the time when the doctor should be understood and should be  thanked for doing what his conscience told him to. Saving his patient was his priority and at that moment nothing else mattered.

The driver of the 1st car, conformed to rules, which here  just inconvenienced all what with the traffic jam, and may be in that jam was a person whose life could be in jeopardy due to this.

Rules could be manipulated to suit your ego ain’t it so?

Here does not something else work? Can we call it understanding?

Understanding comes from a higher source ,the one we can develop when we work on ourselves, when before we see, judge and act, we pause and see closely with our inner eye, and then suddenly things that appeared wrong, seem to look all right.

Suddenly a new light fills in expounding the darkness, which follows when we  hold on to things immaterial.

Jayanti saw all this in a flash, and realised that sometimes when circumstances come up demanding a tough call between life’s rules and breaking them, standing out as a non prejudiced witness, could bring in an understanding, which cause you to act rightly. To see things truly as they are without any type of prejudice we harbour, due to our set ideals, which come in the way of understanding people and situations as they truly are.

So can we  let go  of our prejudices, and not hold on to idealistic views, thus bringing  in light in our lives in the form of a true understanding?

The Diaries of a Country Girl…Episode 1

Oh! Lord I’m just a country girl………

Whether you are a country girl or a city one, what matters is that it doesn’t matter, as long as you are wise.

Wisdom branches out from the tree of life, and to receive it you require living it.

Short Story of Suraina

Living again as our country girl Suraina put it, is when you feel the fragrance of life in all that is living.

Here is Suraina, whose stories could easily be akin yours. Each of us have stories to share, but sadly no time to spare.

As Suraina unfolds the secret folds of her life, there pops out values she wishes to treasure

As you traverse down Suraina’s memory lane, all the incidents she does mention had something to teach her then.

However, they unclasped now during her sunset years.

Do we hold on to them now, or do we wait for life’s sunset to unfold those mysteries which were never mysteries?

Hi, dearies!!!

Once upon a time,  in a small village in the outskirts of Madurai , in South India, a little girl Suraina,  lived along with her parents, and her younger sister, Sheena.

Her father was a mechanical engineer, and was posted there.

They were originally from Mumbai, and though her father aspired to come back to Mumbai to his roots, his job offered him no choice.

Suraina, the little country girl, however was very content living in this small town, and as she made her way on the pathways leading to school along with Sheena, she could not , just not notice the lovely flowers on the way, the chirping of birds, in the breeze,  which gently touched her cheeks, reminding her of this lovely song “All things bright and beautiful ” Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings, he made their glowing colours, he made  their tiny wings.”, which was her everyday prayer in school.

School was the place where one could apply one’s theories to, and one learnt and grew too, a fun  ground, which taught all a few lessons, some you retain, and the others you let go, only to land in further deep waters, where fighting against the tide, you had to  relearn them with harsher lessons.

As a 9year old, it suddenly dawned on Suraina, that the fun in life was its living.

The neighbourhood was filled with her school friends, and open maidans (grounds) where one could run, and play ball, and watch the sun set as it disappeared around the horizon.

Then on other days, stories of  what would happen at puberty,  made to sound real by adding mythological events about how women, had to face the brunt of the painful menstrual cycle, due to a promise given by Goddess Parvati to her husband Lord Shiva, seemed mystical and one participated, looking with awe at the storyteller,  as the glory in it overcame the gory of it all.

Suraina listened in disbelief, but she listened in totality.

The fate of women was sealed, story or no story the truth was that this was it.

Nothing else mattered, what mattered then was that all of these young girls had a fate collectively sealed, this is what this young country girl felt all along.

So  she felt all were one, there never seemed a morrow, where one had to think of  another as other.

They were in together and Suraina always felt they should stand up as a team,so much so, that her little mind conjured togetherness and standing up for one another in a way one wouldn’t comprehend and hilarious as it seemed, it was done in true earnest.

As a leader, she stood her ground,when in class Rani,  had not completed her home work, and faced being punished, so she called on an emergency special round table conference , before the teacher arrived, and the resolution was passed.

None would submit their work today so it was declared, for the exception of one, Suganda ,the nerd of the class, who was stubborn and brave enough to stand her ground.

This did not go well with Suraina, who just let her be, however lost no opportunity in bringing out her mean streak , and thus seeing to it that she was abandoned by the rest.

So in the next hour of class the consequences were, that 25 of the 26 girls in class stood out of class, as punishment, for the entire period.

Unity is strength, we all are one, indeed, but the application of it,  as applied by this young mind, who had a rebellious streak within, just did not seem as apt and right.

Well understanding Suraina, was no easy ball game,

As you can see in yet another exciting incident, which came up, where she could, implement the qualities she prided herself of possessing, or so she thought, they were  her boldness and her attitude of notwithstanding injustice.

She was impulsive by nature, and injustice to her at that point of time was what her mind thought it was. The mind is very manipulative as you know…don’t you? Haha…

Look before you leap, would be a good lesson, but not for Suraina, who did things impulsively and hastily, as  her strong headed  mind convinced her, that she was in charge of setting things straight in the face of injustice, and in school when you do not look before leaping you land up right where Suraina did,

Suraina leapt into anything she considered gutsy, something which needed a  display of  a tremendous amount of courage, even though the act would be foolish and land her in big trouble.

So, one day in school she happened to see the big bully Rehan, hit Monish, for not obeying his orders.

Rehan was the son of an influential person, and everyone was of the opinion that all his mischief and misbehaviour was tolerated as his father donated a lot of money to the school from time to time.

Assumption of school girls or a reality ? Neither did anyone see or know of it.

The truth is that this is a question of speculation even today, which even Suraina , today admits to, though way back in the 70’s she was sure. (Such is the process of our  corrupted  thoughts which occupy our minds and keep us whirling round and round our entire lifetime, looking at us and laughingly challenging “Break free if you can?”)

Yes break free you can , and let go of one, only to be entangled with another corrupt thought. As you think you free your inner space, oops in comes another one to occupy your free space, so friends if you think you’ve broken free, think twice, breaking free is a theory one knows but never practices, as  practically it’s a game of hide and no seek.

So how could Suraina break free?

Well back to the story of the bully.

Rehan hit Monish, and Monish in his defence, retaliated and caught hold of Rehan’s collar, which could not bear the brunt of Monish’s tight grip, so it snapped and tore.

This did not go well with Rehan and as anticipated the “sissy spoilt brat” as Suraina addressed him charged to the principal’s cabin to complain about the torn shirt,  with Suraina charging behind like as if she alone, and only she was the army designated to act and talk in Monish’s defence.

Monish was indeed reduced to being a silent spectator, and let’s say at this point he was relieved as well as amused seeing Suraina take up for him.

Suraina charged like a ferocious bull, telling the principal that action must be taken immediately,

“Please see to it Rehan is expelled, he does not deserve to be in here”, she angrily exclaimed.

The Principal was flabbergasted, and instead of paying attention to the Rehan episode, he sounded off Suraina and at once asked her to get her parents to meet him.

Suraina was in a soup, and learnt a lesson that day, however, she didn’t digest it, as her thoughts were “This Mr Goon is a goofed up principal and he ought not to be one.  Poor Monish…, this just isn’t fair,  Mr Goon, took up for Rehan because of the benefits to the school, and so on and on and on..”. her mind kept chattering constantly..

Her mind played games with her, and instead of realizing her mistake and learning from it, she retained her views.

So as you can see, she invited events of a similar kind, and behaved in the same fashion over and over again, unwilling to accept anything other than what her mind kept repeating over and over again.

Fight on like a brave soldier, it kept beeping.

Oh God, was there anything to fight for?

Was it not something which was a fragment of fiction in her mind, or was it really a cause of concern and a cause to react the way she did?

Well the  crux dear friends, sure is  that seeing is believing, however seeing things with tainted glasses, the taints you’ve developed over periods of time , could be harmful and dangerous and could lead you on to a vicious circle, never letting you break free….

Read on , the continuing journey of how Suraina grows up from a country girl to the woman of the world and slowly on to the woman who gets ready and steady….

More in Episode 2….