Hi Guys!!!

I need to connect.

Connect?

Yes, for I am here sitting by the window, with the corona virus for company.

I’ve just completed five days in its overbearing company, but trust me when I say it sure is learning to be less wild.

It came with a bang, unannounced, shaking me off my guard,

I had no symptoms but was exposed, so I took the home test at a request.

I was sure I’d tide over like a song, and all would be proved wrong.

But I was wrong, for the T line of the home test glared at me with all its darkness.

Got anything to say? It seemed to say.

At first, I tried my best to shake it off, hoping against hope the test was false.

Aw, that is not possible, said our dear doctor friend. “You are positive”.

But I refused to relent. Then I sat on my bed, wondering another particular tactic to shove it down the drain.

For a minute, some hope came in when I thought to myself, “For all you know, I might be the first one to discover a special technique of warding away corona for good.”

Thinking so I went into dream world, where all over were posters, giving across the message

Come one and all to the show ” Shove Corona down the drain, and rid the world of a never-ending strain”.

As I was being complimented for this fantastic discovery, which even the world’s most outstanding scientists could not do, I was rudely awakened from dreamland by the loud beep on my phone.

Thud, I felt myself fall, from fantasy to reality.

I had so far tried to ward off this weird poky porcupine and had shut my doors tight.

But the more I relented, the more it persisted, and eventually, it let itself in through a small window opening.

Well, it was here standing on my face, and as I looked at it, in horror, it said, ” Aw, come on, I’m here now, and where are your manners?”

Is this the way you welcome your guest?

Knowing it had won, I resigned at last “Be my guest,” I said grudgingly.

Come on, it said, since we are in it together, you could at least smile and appear cheerful.

I thought, ” What audacity this ugly looking creature, has” but I said nothing.

I decided to smile and let go of any ill feeling.

Now it’s our fourth day together, and we’ve mingled as one.

As I get up in the mornings, it reminds me it’s there, but after steam, and a cup of hot tea, it gives me my space.

It lets me decide whether I want to read or write or clean my bathroom but warns, ” Choose one thing.

Do not forget that I am here, and for a reason too.

When you space out your pace, you can do things better too.

By now, we had become buddies, so I confidently took some liberties,

I said, “I think you are mad; I would like to go on with the pace I’m used to.”

“Suit yourself, “it said.

So after my energising cup of tea, I dusted the bed, swept my room, and washed the bathroom. Then for a hot water bath, and I was ready for breakfast.

And then off went the next activity, for I had slumped.

Exasperated, I crouched on the armchair, and the grouch grinned,

I told you so. I wanted to smack it hard but resisted the urge.

Then out of the blue, in the chair of orange hue,

Came this vision true.

Your needs are not so many, but your wants don’t let you be.

For caged in this room, the 5th day on, I discovered a new morn.

The morn of the everlasting sun, the sun which knows no dusk or dawn.

And that is when you know for sure, that every move of yours on the horizontal material world, follows on a vertical plane, subtle but firm.

It gives you buoyancy, a much-needed balance in our world, where needs and wants can be mistakenly misunderstood.

All you need is a little of all, but more demands the needs of the want.

That is when tables turn upside down.

Outbursts of various types, from tycoons to goons ,

Seep into our so-called peaceful land.

Shattered we fall as I did as Corona struck,

A tug of war ensued, out fell the wants, and the needs grew sparse.

Hidden in each other’s guise, guys, it’s recovery time.

That’s when you know you are living on the horizontal physical with the awareness that the horizontal has a vertical all along. As you look at them simultaneously, you are aware of your being.

The horizontal of life makes up for the world around me, my special relations with all of you fellow beings, and the vertical my being with it’s spirit and awareness, always by my side.

To Know or not to???

Knowledge is necessary, Knowledge is wonderful, Knowledge sharpens your intellect !!!!

Blah Blah , Blah and Blah!!!!

Did you fall for all of this , like I did too,?

If you did, then you got something new coming, your way..

“What is it? another knowing?” you may ask,

And then you can even scoff at me and look at me with your eyes saying it all

” Oh really, so much on advocating no knowledge, really Deepi.”

But I’m not here to change your belief into disbelief.

Nor am I advocating a cause, or a purpose, for us to follow.

I’m writing this because I learnt, as a part of learning, and not as just knowledge.

For knowledge is what we store into the depths of our mind, and use it later when it is not necessary anymore.

Learning is now, learning is wisdom, learning has the depth of the present moment.

Learning makes you grow, and makes you abandon all that is not a learning.

And Knowledge, what can I say?

Well except the knowledge required for skilful activities, to manoeuvre, your boat through the ocean of life, the rest of knowing stops you from learning.

Knowledge from past experiences, conditioning, belief systems and other forms of teachings which we stored into the warehouse of our brain, blocks our learning.

We can’t learn much from a person we know to be a fool, can we?

But can you see the man with the eyes of today, he’s moved on.

Yesterday he displayed foolishness, but learnt thereon.

And today he has wisdom engraved within, but we can’t see it, can we?

For we knew he was foolish, and carried it on, for we don’t want to learn, now, we already know.

Here guys that’s it. You may take it or leave it, the choice is yours.

If you choose to learn rather than advocate you know, here’s one for the road..

Well friends, learning is a different ball game altogether.

It is an understanding a deep understanding of what is, and when that happens then you act on what is, you act now.

You learn now and when you do, it’s a new learning, for you see things with the freshness of what they actually are.

For all you know, the person you knew yesterday, learnt a lesson or two on his way, and today as you proclaim you know him, you actually don’t.

Yesterday he was mean and rude, and today he is a cool dude.

He learnt to be cool and abandoned being rude.

However you were ruthless to carry his rudeness, for the past stored your experience with him, and you carried the knowledge on, unable to break free.

” Let the dead past bury it’s dead”. A Psalm of life, By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

How on earth are we to learn when we can’t let go.

How on earth do we abandon the pride which makes us pat ourselves on the back, proclaiming ” I know it all”

But you dont know, for you cant see, can’t listen and can’t smell.

You can’t see the person for what he is , and not what he was.

You can’t listen for everytime you try to do so, your mind chatters away bringing in the dead.

The knowledge of the past haunts, and mars the bright future, and the fragrance in the air

is marred by the stink of the past.

Grow up, let go, of the yesterday, and play a fresh game today.

Learn the rules, they are simple , play wholeheartedly, and enjoy.

Then fulfilled move ahead, well equipped for the ball game of the morrow, where the simple rules of the play apply again.

Play within your ambit, if you are a good bowler bowl, instead of looking at being a batsman too.

For the fun is in the game, not in trying to be something you are not .

Well friends, each stage of life equips us to go through it, and as we move through it we learn with each passing day.

Here knowledge is the barrier, it acts as if it equips you to face it, but dearies don’t fall for it.

For it only comes with a bundle of another’s perceptions & experiences , and none from the book off the hook.

So don’t pls get hooked to another’s book, and not even to mine.

Just go ahead and see with an open mind.

That is when you listen to the actual mind, which tells you the way to go.

This little piece came to me, as I’m learning..

Learning to make peace with what is, and not with any knowledge, of what should be..

Cheers dear friends, as you cheer all the way home..

On Reason and Reasonability..

Reasonability has no reason, and to reason reasonably seems to me the highest degree of unreasonability.

Now that is my reasoning.

Haw you guffaw, ” You really think so”?

After all the talk of reason and reasonability, you have the guts to bring in what you call ” Your reasoning”.

As I looked around , there was no one. I paused in wonderment.

” Who was this conflicting ?

Eureka !! They were my thoughts contradicting each other.

To do or not to do?

Within reasonable limits, I reasoned with my mind..

(Oh don’t laugh again, I’ve got to start somewhere, don’t I?)

So as I tell it to be reasonable, it replies ” Just what is reasonable?”

Aw come on do I have to define the same to you?” I said.

And as it replied “Yes, you do,” my thoughts went further dense.

All along what I thought was reasonable, suddenly turned out to be what I wanted to do.

I brought out a hundred definitions of reasonable within my boundaries and for my convenience.

I got away with the things I wanted to do by bringing them under the ambit of reasonable.

“How un reasonable “said that voice from within.

For reason and reasonability now appear to be the ball game of your mind.

“Stop don’t go too far, let’s just change the topic” said I.

Why? Are you scared to confront yourself? it asked.

Well infact go further down, and it’s ok to frown.

For today trash it out, so that your trash doesn’t delude you from seeing things as they are.”

Ok so now let’s look at things as they are.

Suddenly the definition of reasonable changed, for everything around was as it is and reasonably so.

The children made a shattering noise, and disturbed me as I sat in quietude.

But then my very self who would have termed it unreasonable, saw the children for what they were.

They were children and they were bound to make a noise, jump up and down running all around.

They were as they were, and reason told me so.

Suddenly it was only reasonable that I maintain my cool and not lose it.

During my hey days,

I got up every morning at a reasonably early time at 5.30 am.

I worked reasonably hard, putting in 85 hours of work every week, that is an approx of 12 hours a day, right?

Then I spent 5 hours a week on the things I liked doing, my me time.

And then all the rest of the remaining hours spent on personal grooming and physical requirements.

That was reasonable for me then.

Yes it was.

Today with advancing age, and the lockdown, I get up at ease, keep my body fit by exercising to keep it going, look into the basic needs of the home , and most important, I look into my mental well being.

But if I continued doing the things I did just because I couldn’t change , and couldn’t see the now as it is, denying myself to myself, then friends I’m unreasonable.

Not only to myself but to all of you out there, for friends, every phase and every stage requires some one to take charge to fill up a position vacant there.

How can you overcrowd a stage, where others befitting the role are awaiting their turn?

Move on for your done there.

Go ahead and occupy your right place thus creating a void to be filled up and filling a void waiting to be occupied.

That is just what is reasonable. So stop being unreasonable calling it reasonable.

Take charge and change, for yonder is the discovery to the wonder called life.

There seems no reason to reason anymore, you had to just be and see.

Like when the first wave of the pandemic hit us , it came as a shock and seemed unreasonable to us all.

But what we couldn’t see was that there was reason for it all.

We had lost our sensitivity towards our mother earth.

Mutiliated it to the very core, and it forced us to just be and see, and that is when we saw reasonability in it’s unreasonability.

It asked us to change, change our exuberant lifestyles and self centred behaviour.

And as we saw, there came a shadow of light amidst the blinded dark of night.

But alas, some saw light in the dark, and the spark caught them in a frenzy.

They decided to do away with isolation, and did the unreasonable, making it look like reasonable.

So they decided to fight the pandemic, gathered together, dancing and singing, masked down.

Well what do you think just happened?

The corona virus spread further, leading to more infected people and a large number of deaths.

Economies crashed, people became jobless, and the homeless walked in large flocks to their hometowns, increasing the risk of it’s spread.

It spread far and wide, but then all we did was to shirk and smirk ,

Wasn’t it the fault of the government?

For as we reasoned, we were reasonable, in wanting to do the things we once did.

Pandemic or no we couldn’t care less.

For we were frustrated sitting at home, and after a whole lot of activities we did to entertain ourselves, and to fight the spirit of despair, we were done.

Now it was only reasonable that we walk out, and so we did things in galore.

For we had learnt to unite and spread the feeling of brotherhood, which would lead to love and compassion for each other.

Yes true but that was apt for the time it was taught.

“So what ? aren’t we carrying out the traditions of the yesteryears?

How can you be so unreasonable as to not carry out the wishes of our forefathers?” said the righteous.

As I heard this a bell rang from within, ” Reasonability has left reason.”

For one can we define reason?

Reason is the cause of trouble, sorrow, trauma wars etc.

A reasoning beyond any reason, is the responsibility one has towards himself/herself.

A love, a care and an understanding, a listener with a ear,

A person who is here, who can hear.

Is this not just reasonable?

When you know you have nothing to lose or win, then you’re not out or in.

For all you do is just be present with the listener, and not let the mind take over,

Then you just don’t say , ” That what is for you, is not what is for me”.

“No Oh no no”.. says life.

I’m the same everywhere, but each of you perceive me differently. One sees my sunny bright side, and the other sees the dark night.

Just be here for when you see my dark side look deeply into it, and from it you will see the coming of a promising light.

But if you shut your eyes and divert yourself from the darkness of sorrow, you will never know the light.

For as you shun away one, the other automatically gets shunned.

Rise above the dark and light, and see how they turn from day to night.

Then the reason for sorrow and pain do not seem unreasonable,

For reason leaves behind it’s reasoning and works on understanding now.

Then the unreasonable .and the reasonable just don’t seem to exist

For Reason and resonability is neither for you or me to decide, it’s the inner sight that sees it right.

A whisper in my ear…

A turmoil in my brain, as to what to do and what not to?

Around me, all I could comprehend was hurt, sorrow, conflict terrorism, corruption etc..

Yes it is all around and in this life of which we are a part..

Are you disturbed? I admit I am..

Why oh why can’t peope live as friends in peace and prosperity?

Isn’t there enough for everyone?

The universe is abundant, and infinite, and we are a part aren’t we?

So why the stress and anxiety?

Why is this yours and that mine? Why are we so divided?

Your religion or mine, doesn’t sound at all fine.

Then why do we run from here to there, in search of something not there.

For religion has no region, and no division, said a whisper in my ear.

So how could you use it to inculcate fear?

Fear rooted in the tree of desire, born out of the pleasure for more.

More happiness, more money &more fame.

Was all this needed by the name?

Or was there more to it..

Well said the whispering voice, ” That’s just not all my friend,

You’ve asked for more, so take it all..

I wondered what I had asked for, was I not innocent in my strive?

I only wanted to thrive? What was wrong I asked myself,

That intruding whisper heard it all, for the next thing it whispered was,

” Just your wanting is your desire, and so you invited in,

Anger, hatred, jealousy and all.

You got it all, and with it was born violence and a burning nation.

And while you deem yourself right, you belong to the might.

But stand away, and look again, and then you’ll see that the so called seers,

While holding the torch to lead you on from darkness to light,

Lost their way, stumbled and fell, setting ablaze on mankind,

Atrocities of the worst kind.

But listen whispered the voice from within, ” Just stay still”

You are your own seer and sire.

Am I ? Yes whispered back the whisper, and then out of the blue,

I heard another whisper, I like this , and it is indeed true.

Shhh… Now I know.. that I’ve all I got.

I choose what I am, and will be “

I choose my freedom , over all,.

And then like a lark in the sky so shall I fly.

A journey from 6 to 60….

Incredible!!! Yes yes, I’ll go through it once again..

But yes I’ll pause a little bit,

For as I stand at the beginning of the long bridge, once again,

I realise it has a lot to unfold, but to do that I have to let go,

Of things I experience on the way.

I saw myself at 6, the age of impressions.

my slate was blank till then,

I could choose what I wanted to fill in.

Or could just move on, having it blank all along.

For do you not think as I do, that each day is new,

Each day is a strife, never like the one you left behind.

So how could I fill it up with memories of the yesterday, yester year, and a yester life?

The bridge is beckoning, asking me to walk through again, minus the baggage,

Come on walk light, run and fly, for as you reach the end of the bridge, the wings of freedom will set you free.

Will I succeed, I ask myself?

It made me pause, was this bridge a runway? A runway to a take off.

What if I couldn’t take off?

What if the baggage bogged me down?

Could I just shed it now?

Well I looked in to see what it had, and the pandora box, revealed the me, I didn’t know .

For in the baggage was a hurt I felt when I just turned 6, and that was when an aunt ticked me off.

Thinking I was superior, I tried to play a prank, and she thought I ought to get a spank.

Well thats what good aunts do, teach their wards, but oh dear me, I just learnt it wrong.

I packed it in my bag and carried it all the way, and saw to it that other incidents, added on, like a coating all around,

And as I reached my teens, it grew heftier till I mistook it for me.

As the hurt filled my slate, there were others that followed suit.

Anger and fear of rejection, conditioning, and experiences left their mark,

All snuggled comfortably in my treasured bark.

Then I saw myself huffing and puffing, wondering if I would stop,

For the brook by the meadow, temptingly beckoned.

I hastened my steps to reach out to it, when i met a man on my way,

He was rude and mean, and that got me to scheme.

I opened my pandora box and let out the steam.

I saw myself patting my back, feeling elated.

“Now you see, I told myself, it’s worth the effort,

The baggage is not a waste after all.”

It warded him off, and as I walked off with a beam,

I suddenly realised that I had warded my chance to be by the brook.

I trudged on , the rough road ahead, blaming my fate which put me on a hook.

Till one day I fell, deep into slush, and sighed and cried,

” Oh why only me”, what have I done wrong, for all I did was to walk along,

But walk I did with the baggage on, all along.

And now I was in the midst of mud, my shoulder hurt, my legs stiffened and weak,

I gave up, I had failed and life seemed bleak, and now I was at the brink.

Putting my baggage down, I got up one last time, and reached the precipice.

Bracing to jump, I closed my eyes , One, Two, Three and I was free,

Well friends, it was that split moment, when consciousness intervened, and then,

I threw not myself but the bag of the self I thought was me.

The bag in which I held on to the goal of success, the one which lost me to the spirit of it.

I felt light as I walked on , reached the bridge, and saw a lit up one.

And then I knew I was on the runway to the flight to freedom and joy.

The unwanted baggage of hurts, deceit, despise, and resent, made my journey

fearful, with anger and despair at rejection.

And now as I see it all, its all gone,

Setting competition aside, I sit astride on the vehicle called life.

As it takes me ahead through its journey to love.

Seeing it all I wonder though, did it require me to pass through with all the baggage ,

To realise all I had to do was to shed it like garbage.

Life looked at me winking, ” Wise ass, you know it all now, so let be for now.

But remember to remember not to forget, that a baggage which bogs you down, is garbage to be shed” it said.

And remember you do not have to wait till 60 to do so.

I looked at it in the eye, and saw something I’d never seen before…

It smiled down at me, and for the first time I saw there was no bridge anywhere, I was on a runway to now here..

A flight without a take off or landing..

Looking at it I simply said ” Life You Damn Well Rock”…

An International Anthem please….

Dear readers,

It’s great that we celebrated 75 years of Independence, but have we accomplished independence?

75 years ago we were weak, and so we were usurped by the strong, the usurpers.

Yes we were Indians then, and Indians now, so what difference did we make?

Or rather what difference did our strength gain us today, excepting 75 years of India’s independence?

We were meant to be independent in thought, speech and action.

Are we independent and free?

As I see it,

Today patriotism is not just a nation you stand up for, or to just stand up and sing for the national anthem, or be teary eyed for our martyred soldiers.

It is much more, though not a lot more. It is the ability to be human rather than just remain an Indian, or British, or European or American and so on.

For today nations are burning, and the innocent are killed all for the sake of nationality.

Each nation has their share of good and bad, their share of innocents and treacherous.

So what do we say, and do?

As we go out protecting our nation, unknowingly we create a divide.

For the issue is bigger, much larger than we can see.

To protect humanity, let’s just let the “my country” slogans take a back seat.

My country , can be replaced by our world..

Those were for those days in history when the spirit of nationalism was inculcated in order to ward away foreign reign.

God we so carry it on don’t we?

It was the need of the hour then, and today our need is different, but we can’t help it can we?

We repeat yesterday, without understanding the needs of today, and so history repeats itself, and we go round and round in circles, till the time comes for us to get off.

So let’s just stop right now and just go about spreading good will and warmth all over, to all.

We are humans first, and let’s remember what our forefathers taught us.

In those days, we were required to secure and protect our nation, so we were taught to call ourselves Indians.

No division in terms of caste and creed, no division on where we were geographically placed.

” From the north and from the south and from the east or west, we belong here together,

And we are delighted that we are united into God’s own family”.

A chorus song we sang in school, still rings through my ears..

Earlier it was from the north ,south, east and west of India, for then India was burning, and that was the need of the hour.

Today each country is protected only if we unite, and look at the world as a whole.

Today it is the world, and all of us in it. It’s the need to be together as one whole family.

Maybe some laws may be strategically necessary to ensure the smooth functioning of all the nations in the world.

Just like divisions just based on convenience, but that is strictly for convenience, within we are all one.

Many families, many nations all converging together as one.

Oh what fun!!!

Cheer up all of you worldwide,

For today is not the time of a divide.

We are all on the map of the world, the one and only whole -Globe.

Then why the gap in the whole?

It did start eons earlier, but the gap widened until it was difficult to bridge,

How did our math go wrong?

Slowly different ideas and thoughts infiltered, when keepers of scriptures,

Redefined and interpreted our texts, the way they saw it.

For in trying to protect each one’s nation, as the world leaders suggest, we’ve crossed all bounds and endangered our very species.

The only one truth is that we are all humans, and are one.

Please let’s not be divided internationally.

Defining and naming countries as per geographical limits was done for the sake of convenience, so what was it that blew it out of proportion.

What made us believe that we could divide it into my nation and yours?

When we were in school , we were told not to divide our selves into castes and creeds, like Hindu , Muslim, Sikh, Christian etc, but to introduce ourselves as Indians.

The concept is right, our elders, and teachers, worked together not to create a division, in the nation.

But unknowingly a divide was created in the world all over, as humans think alike, and nations felt the need to keep themselves secure from the others.

Well we all know that gaps have widened and today the need of the hour is to bridge them.

It is clear, we are all one here, and as much as we feel loyal to our nation, let’s stand up to the clarion call.

A call to all,

We are all together in the midst of a crisis, where come what may, we cannot get out,

All our brave soldiers, and all the ammunition, and remunition, cannot bring us respite,

For in the deep down common consciousness, there is a state of unrest, brought about by fear, anger and violence,

Where all the energies of mankind are wasted in planning, strategizing and scheming, one nation against the other,

Man’s intelligence is wasted in the unintelligent, for no matter what, we live in division.

Let’s join hands together, and sing an international anthem, for world peace?

For today what we begin, will continue on for centuries to come,

Let’s leave a legacy behind where no soldier needs to sacrifice his life, where no parent loses their child,

Where every child and grown up can breathe and be free,

where the scare of being captured and killed, no longer lingers,

The lurking fear and danger, wiped out of minds never to return.

Then the fragrance of pure air and love will fill the space, we pace on,

And all of us here will see the day, where we can all have a say,

That is when we will sing to the same tune, the tune of the pure consciousness of man.

And that is when man’s common consciousness will progress, and move from fear, hurt, anger, frustration, possessiveness, violence to a consciousness of love, intelligence, patience and peace.

Let’s begin today, for it’s never too late,..

I implore you all, pls come along, let’s not hurt any long,

For as I hear this call, I’m sure you’ll do so too.

So let’s walk together, as one, and as we walk the peace march,

Fear hurt and anger retreat, and in marches a higher intelligence, a wisdom that’s as divine as old wine,

It is in it’s nectar, that we swoon away, surging ahead, to everlasting peace.

When right equals wrong..

When the mind tricks you into believing you are right, watch again, for the same mind tricked you earlier into believing you were wrong.

Right and wrong are just figments of the mind, like the two sides of a coin.

Remember school and the tick and cross of the teacher’s marks on our answer papers.

Many a cross you would like to justify to her, and tell her to tick it right, but were there any ticks you would justify and ask her to cross them wrong?

That was yesterday wasn’t it?

All that matters today is to enjoy your cup of tea or coffee, or whatever you are doing, the ticks and crosses do not count anymore.

Are you’ll with me?

For if you are, let’s just enjoy the cup of coffee and tea, enjoying beauty around us.

Yes there you go, you are indeed in joy enjoying the coffee, and then all of a sudden, the mind intervenes, reminding you of the yester.

It feels left out, as you’ve left it out, so vehemently it reminds you of that day when you were wronged, “Doesn’t your heart bleed, remembering the trauma you faced in your youth?” it cries out imploringly.

“Remember the times you were trapped in a relationship and you felt you couldn’t get out? You were wronged again.”

Good Lord, you fall for it, don’t you? I would too.

The awesome cup of coffee no longer tastes awesome now, for the memories of suffering take it’s place.

Then we feel betrayed by life, by our environment and by all around us.

Now as we get trapped in the depths of our mind, we lose out on the very beauty around.

For around us sits the ego mind, ensuring we never let go, as then it has no place to go.

It establishes its presence at the cost of our joy, and do you know why?

For, ages ago it found a beautiful home, in the minds of the innocent soul, who knew no pride or prejudice,

For he was born in life to learn, evolve and rejoice.

Then what just happened on the way? For he saw night in the light of day.

The voice from within said “It’s alright , suffering is inevitable, for in the dark of night there is light.”

The ego felt threatened for the voice was wise, so it sprang up, making it’s presence felt, ” Don’t you listen dear friend for your suffering is one of it’s kind. There is absolutely no light.

Then the ego stifled the voice and said ” Shut up!! Do you know what suffering is? “

In fear of losing it’s presence, it clung on to the innocent mind, till it succeeded in it’s goal.

For it converted the conscious to the unconscious, so as to secure it’s hold.

Then came the wise, and saw through it’s vice, but the ego was vicious and unkind, it played on the mind. Knocking loudly at our doors again, it pretended to be the wise and said,

” Wisdom dear friend is when you see your suffering, put it in your memory, and play it on, till it takes a grip on you, for is it not why you suffered?”

The poor man suffered yesterday, carried it today, and ensured it’s company for the day after today.

The wise he could not recognise, for he felt he was a threat, telling him to let go, of the suffering which was his identity.

He couldn’t lose that could he? For the ego ensured so, and the chuckling ego sure had it’s way.

Till one day, as the man sat on his bed, filled with woe, not knowing where to go, he saw a wise angel before him and told him to let go.

It was difficult for him to do so, as the ego solidified within ensured so.

As he was about to weep, the angel took a leap, and stood by his side and said ” Shhhhh, just be here with me, and see what I see.”

The man in his desperation sat still and saw his sorrow, and in it’s midst something cracked, the ego fled and he saw clearly that his sorrow was not his, but that of the entire mankind.

He wiped his tears and looked around, all like him, were all around. Then a strange but beautiful feeling came in,

“Why didn’t I see this earlier?”, he asked the angel earnestly.

You were smitten by the ego sir.

Then came hope, and with it love, encompassing all. Was this compassion? he asked.

Yes said his true self, and then the wisdom within looked at the beauty around.

He had risen and was above all. The ego quashed, and it was time for him to rejoice..

Children and Immensity… Dedicated to all parents.

Why do you want a child? Why do we have children?

Is it for a social status, or security of continuation or just mere curiosity.

I for one, couldn’t imagine a life without children, for more than anything else, it gave me a sense of fulfilment.

Now when I ask myself what this was? Pat came the answer from within,

It was a feeling of wholeness, but mind you, it’s not necessary that everyone thinks the same.

I know a few close friends who have chosen not to have children, and I more than respect the choice they made.

They are happy and content as they are, and live the way they wish to be.

A fair proposition indeed.

But now may I ask “ What about us the major rest”?

Do we have children for the sake of answering back to curious passers by who are like FI agents, doing a background check,

1. Marital Status? Married.

2. How many children? None. Now most of us do not like to leave the blanks empty.

For turned up noses say, “how awful,” and inquisitiveness creeps over..

Then for the next question “Can’t have them or don’t want them?”

Can’t have them ?

In earlier days, “Oh you can’t have children, my god, how will you live through?” a pitiful look comes your way.

and then whispering tongues, suggest you are unlucky and not fit to attend auspicious occasions, as your bad luck may rub off on other prospective contenders.

Now for the don’t want them ones,

” Look at their cheek, aren’t they self centred and pre occupied? They boldly say they don’t want children. Oh God what is the world coming to?” This is what we’ve all heard all along.

Now what would you say to this? I’d say they need to have their heads examined.

And it’s sad to know that the ones who need to have their heads examined are a part of the majority who have kids.

It’s natural to have kids, and aid creation, but it’s equally important to know the implications of having one.

Are you willing to be a medium to bring them into the world, and play the role of a parent, till need be?

If so listen to this:

In a child is the universe in all its immensity.

Observe and you will know..

Nature nurtures, the fusion seed, and gives it all it needs,

Till it’s ready, the baby boy or girl.

Then with a forceful thrust,

It’s out into the world, where nature provides again,

For 2 pairs of arms, called parents, rock him in, to rock the world or roll in.

The nights were tough, and so were the days, with absolutely no respite, except for one,

The fact that they were the chosen ones.

They were to show the little fledgling the bright of day and the dark of night.

Then what just happened on the way, is there need to know?

For as a caretaker nurturing and caring was their role, but while holding on to the little fledging, they mistook him/her as theirs,

Well the able pair of parents, proudly held their fledgling, till it was ready for flight,

But on the way , did they sway or did they hold him right?

For were they ready to let him go, and follow his dreams, or was he even allowed to dream?

No, for before this fledgling knew to fly, his wings were clipped with fantasies, superstitions rights and wrongs, for his parents possessed what wasn’t theirs to possess, and then began the same old era,

The era of the strained relationship of a parent and child.

The immensity of the potential of the child was quashed under the possessive parent, who left him with no choice, to even dream his dream.

For he was their child, and they dreamt for him.

And that is when their heart lost out to their head.

The head that reminded them of the sacrifices they made all the way, of the pains and struggles they went through on the way,

The head that brought forth their ego telling them that after all they’ve done for him he cannot have his way.

It has to be their way or the highway.

Dear Parent,

You sacrificed but did you not volunteer to?

Were you not born to traverse your path in the journey through time and space, and in the journey did you not ask for children?

You asked for them because you felt you wouldn’t be whole without them.

Then why crib? Why make children feel bogged down under the weight of obligation.

Instead they obliged you by coming into the world through you.

They let you develop emotions of love and care, and gave rise to the most wonderous feelings of joy and bliss in their innocence.

The house turned into a home and haven with their spritely voices and pit pattering feet,

The home was full with the fragrance of innocence and bliss, which kept intact your childhood.

But when they grew up you forgot to mention the joys they gave, and instead focussed on the toil and pains you took to bring them up.

For when you decided to be parents, you signed the contract, of being the medium, to a new life.

Remember you too came in through a medium, and all you did was to give what you took.

Nature has its ways, to teach you, flow along, with it’s song, the song of life,

the song of the heart, as eternal love gets it’s due, in the form of a love so true,

For underneath the form of a child, yet to be formed is the spark of love and grace,

which when ignited, will embrace you and the world with love and compassion and a respect unasked.

For it’s the respect out of love, not out of fear or power.

Not conditional but totally unconditional,

So just watch your young one bloom, and as you do so,

You’ll know you played the role of the parent you chose to be.

And then as you look at yourself, whole and complete, you’ll bloom a final bloom.

Friends, we do things in good faith, so let’s do it with faith in ourselves, in the universe, and in the natural laws.

The river flows on, forward never backward, and so does a tree shed it’s fruit, without expecting to possess it, and as you follow their example, so will you flow on..

When she was, I wasn’t..

Was I there when she was?

Asking myself this today, let me assure you I am here right now.

I am absolutely sitting in the same place she was, a few, years ago, where I saw her die slowly but gracefully.

That was mother wasn’t she?

Wish to say, that is mother, do I?

You bet I damn well wish it, as anyone of you would do?

Then ask yourself as I ask myself why don’t we wish it then.

Why weren’t we there when she was?

Always scrambling away to another zone, a territory unknown,

But I didn’t go in to hers, as I made my zone different from hers.

Well mother,I’ve learnt it,and I am right here. Now with an open mind and open hand I write it all.

Spirited and bold was mother, an epitome of grace and love,

Yes, she too was a prey to conditions, which set in early, during her hardship days.

Brought up by a single parent her mother, she survived the partition and her loneliness, with the same gusto as she enjoyed her simple moments of fun.

The fun days were her school ones, where she bestowed great courage, and skill,

When at the age of seven, she crossed the Shivaji Pul bridge on a monsoon night, to deliver medicine to her sick grandpa, and his smile when she delivered it stayed with her all along.

The college days when she turned the clock an hour behind to get an extra hour of badminton time.

Switching from medical science to art, following her heart, did not seem to her a bad deal at all, though when her mother found out, she felt she was meted a raw deal.

Then in college, mum was the heart throb of many, and she thoroughly enjoyed the attention.

But her heart was set on only one, the shy, dashing, dark handsome man from Bombay, my father.

To him she gave her all, her heart and mind, when he made her his.

And as she walked by his side, she was proud she was his wife.

Her huge joint family consisted of cousins and their wives, affluent and rich,

Her husband was the only son, to a father whose wealth left him in mediocrity.

So though they lived together, in a huge sprawling bungalow, her portion was little,

But as she rode behind him on his scooter, she felt the wind tell her, you have it all,

That is how she shrugged their invitation to ride in their huge cars, preferring her husband’s lambretta to their impala.

Then came the worst, when her husband took her away to Coimbatore, where they struggled for years to come.

They didn’t know the language, and had two small daughters, me and my little sister.

But mum was spirited, she laughed and smiled her way out, learning the new dialect, and mastered it as she mastered the art of cooking and housekeeping.

She learnt to laugh and play, for the afternoons were hers , aha those were her rummy days.

She played with the affluent Naidus and Swamys of the south, women spoilt and rich, buttered with hovering butlers.

Yet they chose her home over the rest, for mom had a style of her own, spontaneous and spirited . A gracious host she cooked tasty fare.No matter what, she was happy, and was proud of doing the things she loved.

She had no pretence, or nothing to fear, so when her father in law visited her, she hid nothing

She gave him all her attention and love wholeheartedly, for he was the father she never had.

But when the clock struck two mum was out, playing her game of sequences and trios.

Granddad said nothing, he secretly admired her, and many a time when she came home tired, he would ask her winking at us” Oh beta, have you lost?” And then she would grin and say “.

Yes dada”

Aw come on, he’d reply, I’ll take you’ll out for dinner, the treat is mine, and we would all bundle up into dad’s old standard, where dada would insist on driving, and I’d bend my head down, afraid of being seen.

For he would start with a screech, sending all heads turned towards us.

Well this was it, the difference between mum and me, she didn’t care and accepted everyone for what they were.

My father died pretty young, and she lived alone for years on her own happy and content.

A happy go lucky woman with a golden heart, and now as I tell you this I see her during her last days, playing Antakshari and singing songs with my husband.

Yes her ill health did give her painful moments towards the end of her life, but she took them in her stride.

During her last years, she had absolutely no regrets, yes her house which is disputed, till today, did cause her concern.

But then as she always said, some cards aren’t played well.

And as the game of winning and losing continues on, there are days when all is well and others when things just don’t seem right.

The important thing she taught before she left ,” Go along with your heart, for your journey is yours and no one else’s.

Don’t you get into that bullshit of “ Oh what will the world say”

She would just shrug it as “HUMBUG”.

For within you is that beating heart, telling you to walk on your special path.

Walk on till you reach your end, and then as I saw her go, her looks told me she was about to fly away,

And as I told her to go and fly to freedom, I saw her fly away…..

She flew with them along, , her heart and her soul together..

A Conversation, between G and M…

G stands for the government, and M is me, that is commonly you and me..

M: We trusted in you and voted for you, do you think you have even delivered a quarter of what you promised us?

Or did you just appease me, to be appeased?

I didn’t elect you for nothing, did I? For I gave you my valuable vote, didn’t I ?

I did my duty, and now’s your turn, for I want it all set right.

The promises you made, before you were on the chair?

What were they? Good roads, an enviable economy, education for all , democratic policies to be kept in place. Freedom of thought , speech and belief.

Well you got to be kidding, if you think you’ve achieved this, for instead we’ve just witnessed a massacre, haven’t we?

The massacre of equality, of thought , speech religion and belief, which the flames of desire caused.

Did you stand, beside me and witness the burning of our nation, or were you and are you still in the illusion, that we are prospering?

You are answerable, so please answer now.

G: Please do not forget that I am the governing body, and have done all within my capacity, to govern the country rightly.

Let me see.. Infact we need to review the situation, don’t we?

M: Hahaha … Why am I involved here? You sure seem conceited.

Before the elections, you promised us a free country, absolutely democratic, where constitutional laws would be followed, and there would be no dearth of anything for any one.

Anyway you want a review so here it is

Are you not the government? Is it not your responsibility to work for the nation?

But sadly, the moment you came in power, something struck you, like a hurricane would, shredding you of the last vestige of kindness, and compassion and a moral responsibility, which comes with the chair.

For did the chair spell something else to you? If it did, step down, and work like the ordinary.

Look into it now, it’s you who are corrupt, isn’t it?

For corrupt officials, they are yours, they are the ones, who have given money, an unimaginable power, where the gap between the rich and poor can never be bridged.

The poor remain hungry, and the rich are overfed to the point of indigestion.

For is it not your officials who are the cause? Aren’t they up to mischief of a devious kind?

Standing on your side of the plane you see things as plain, as you want to, don’t you?

For you overlook the atrocities of your self, and give contracts to builders not for their skill, but for their will.

Their will to pay you the maximum than the other, and that is when you favour him to the exclusion of the other.

Then you assist in reclaiming land, unauthorised by natural law, because you decide to turn a blind eye to the deeds of the powerful.

Oh and to remind you, we have other two categories of people, the middle class and the upper middle class too.

Both whom you prod with sticks of thorns, for whichever way they go, they are sure to fall.

Surely you remember all your fancy policies, don’t you?

Don’t you think it is a a loser game?

For on one side of the pole is the underprivileged, who once privileged will lead us to a growing economy, thus securing our nation, forever.

So see what you are doing?

If you looked at it the this way, you would push them up the other half as you saw them reach half way up.

But you seem to be only interested in filling your coffers, so you only safeguard the fillers of your coffers.

What sort of a demon are you?

Your schemes and cunning plots will lead nowhere, except to darkness.

For in the light of the false right, your so called righteous ways, are a sure path to the dark.

What have you to hark?

The light or the dark, and if it’s the light you are to hark, then look within and observe….

G: Ah, yes I admit, there are corrupt parts of me, attacking and gnawing through the system, destroying it’s very foundations.

I am greedy to get, and in return I’ve sold a part of me to you.

And that part dear friend, had all my essential qualities, by which I could enhance my being.

But then you came on, and flashed the glitter of gold right in my eyes, and me a wanderer who refused to recognise the purpose of the chair, grabbed it as it seemed right.

Before I got the chair, I was one like you, who thought I’d work towards the betterment of man.

Then I played the game of the poll run, and won it hands down.

For no matter the stiff competition, my hands were focussed on the purpose.

Then came the day, I sat on the chair, and that was just dooms day.

For something sprouted from within, and it was then that sensation set in,

The sensations which brought in the thought for a desire of more.

So now my friend, I’ve lost it, for the hunger for power is unsatiable,

And I have lost the light to my purpose, and as I grope in the dark,

I commit the darkest of crimes, in the name of law.

M: Thank God you admit it, so now can you change your wayward ways?

Can you go back to the times when you worked towards your purpose?

When you saw sorrow, and a feeling of love and compassion came from within you,

That was when the money and power game was not so important to you, as was love for your subjects.

G: You are all right, but wait a minute dear friend, let’s review a bit further, can we?

I am on the other aside of the plane, but once I was on your side, and then you said I was like you, I had compassion, love, and could empathise with people in their sorrow, right?

But did you notice that when I went on the other side , I looked at life from that side.

For is it not true, that everyone who goes on the other side behaves the way I do?

I can tell you sirs , that this is really true, for from the side I am in, I see you, as me.

For you are as corrupt as I am, so some of you want everything greedily for themselves, earn more, pay more to us.

Then there is one lot of you, who do not want to take any responsibility whatsoever.

You think you owe us, as you’ve voted for us, but let me tell you something, that unless and until you take responsibility for your own deeds and actions, no one else will.

You’ve given me the total responsibility to be responsible for you, so here I am doing it the way I deem right.

For you can’t have the cake and eat it too.

You litter, and pollute the streets and the air, making me your clean up guy.

Have a heart you heartless being, for all you can think of is your only being.

Being asleep all day long, day dreaming of a better country, with you having no hand in making it true,

Because is it not the responsibility of the government servant?

For haven’t you given him your valuable vote?

After all haven’t you appointed him to do so, and you did this so you could sleep all day long and through the night too.

And mind you, you also remember to do your bit, backlash him every time he doesn’t do his bit,

For is he not supposed to take charge and clean up the mess you made,

Whether it is to the environment or to the neighbour, he is responsible for it all.

Then you teach him how to take a bribe, which indeed is justified,

For flaunting the law and damaging the environment, it is just a small price you pay, for the fulfilment of your desires.

You and me both think so too, until their comes a day when we realise its a big price to pay.

We’ve sold ourselves into slavery , as slaves of pleasure and desire, there seems only one way out ,

Out of the cave of darkness,

The 1st is to understand no matter what we are one, the giver and the receiver,

And to eradicate this darkness, let’s be the change we want to change,

No you and me, no slander or defamation,

Change first, and be the change you want in us, and in the world.

Do not bribe and I shall not be bribed, take responsibility of you ,by you, for you, and I shall take responsibility of me.

No longer will we be divided, for united we’ll stand.

M: Well said friend, you seem to be right, let’s walk hand in hand, and be the might to the real right…

Do your part, and the rest of the parts will find its way in to solve the biggest challenge we are all facing today. Please dear friends just do your bit.. God Bless.