On Reason and Reasonability..

Reasonability has no reason, and to reason reasonably seems to me the highest degree of unreasonability.

Now that is my reasoning.

Haw you guffaw, ” You really think so”?

After all the talk of reason and reasonability, you have the guts to bring in what you call ” Your reasoning”.

As I looked around , there was no one. I paused in wonderment.

” Who was this conflicting ?

Eureka !! They were my thoughts contradicting each other.

To do or not to do?

Within reasonable limits, I reasoned with my mind..

(Oh don’t laugh again, I’ve got to start somewhere, don’t I?)

So as I tell it to be reasonable, it replies ” Just what is reasonable?”

Aw come on do I have to define the same to you?” I said.

And as it replied “Yes, you do,” my thoughts went further dense.

All along what I thought was reasonable, suddenly turned out to be what I wanted to do.

I brought out a hundred definitions of reasonable within my boundaries and for my convenience.

I got away with the things I wanted to do by bringing them under the ambit of reasonable.

“How un reasonable “said that voice from within.

For reason and reasonability now appear to be the ball game of your mind.

“Stop don’t go too far, let’s just change the topic” said I.

Why? Are you scared to confront yourself? it asked.

Well infact go further down, and it’s ok to frown.

For today trash it out, so that your trash doesn’t delude you from seeing things as they are.”

Ok so now let’s look at things as they are.

Suddenly the definition of reasonable changed, for everything around was as it is and reasonably so.

The children made a shattering noise, and disturbed me as I sat in quietude.

But then my very self who would have termed it unreasonable, saw the children for what they were.

They were children and they were bound to make a noise, jump up and down running all around.

They were as they were, and reason told me so.

Suddenly it was only reasonable that I maintain my cool and not lose it.

During my hey days,

I got up every morning at a reasonably early time at 5.30 am.

I worked reasonably hard, putting in 85 hours of work every week, that is an approx of 12 hours a day, right?

Then I spent 5 hours a week on the things I liked doing, my me time.

And then all the rest of the remaining hours spent on personal grooming and physical requirements.

That was reasonable for me then.

Yes it was.

Today with advancing age, and the lockdown, I get up at ease, keep my body fit by exercising to keep it going, look into the basic needs of the home , and most important, I look into my mental well being.

But if I continued doing the things I did just because I couldn’t change , and couldn’t see the now as it is, denying myself to myself, then friends I’m unreasonable.

Not only to myself but to all of you out there, for friends, every phase and every stage requires some one to take charge to fill up a position vacant there.

How can you overcrowd a stage, where others befitting the role are awaiting their turn?

Move on for your done there.

Go ahead and occupy your right place thus creating a void to be filled up and filling a void waiting to be occupied.

That is just what is reasonable. So stop being unreasonable calling it reasonable.

Take charge and change, for yonder is the discovery to the wonder called life.

There seems no reason to reason anymore, you had to just be and see.

Like when the first wave of the pandemic hit us , it came as a shock and seemed unreasonable to us all.

But what we couldn’t see was that there was reason for it all.

We had lost our sensitivity towards our mother earth.

Mutiliated it to the very core, and it forced us to just be and see, and that is when we saw reasonability in it’s unreasonability.

It asked us to change, change our exuberant lifestyles and self centred behaviour.

And as we saw, there came a shadow of light amidst the blinded dark of night.

But alas, some saw light in the dark, and the spark caught them in a frenzy.

They decided to do away with isolation, and did the unreasonable, making it look like reasonable.

So they decided to fight the pandemic, gathered together, dancing and singing, masked down.

Well what do you think just happened?

The corona virus spread further, leading to more infected people and a large number of deaths.

Economies crashed, people became jobless, and the homeless walked in large flocks to their hometowns, increasing the risk of it’s spread.

It spread far and wide, but then all we did was to shirk and smirk ,

Wasn’t it the fault of the government?

For as we reasoned, we were reasonable, in wanting to do the things we once did.

Pandemic or no we couldn’t care less.

For we were frustrated sitting at home, and after a whole lot of activities we did to entertain ourselves, and to fight the spirit of despair, we were done.

Now it was only reasonable that we walk out, and so we did things in galore.

For we had learnt to unite and spread the feeling of brotherhood, which would lead to love and compassion for each other.

Yes true but that was apt for the time it was taught.

“So what ? aren’t we carrying out the traditions of the yesteryears?

How can you be so unreasonable as to not carry out the wishes of our forefathers?” said the righteous.

As I heard this a bell rang from within, ” Reasonability has left reason.”

For one can we define reason?

Reason is the cause of trouble, sorrow, trauma wars etc.

A reasoning beyond any reason, is the responsibility one has towards himself/herself.

A love, a care and an understanding, a listener with a ear,

A person who is here, who can hear.

Is this not just reasonable?

When you know you have nothing to lose or win, then you’re not out or in.

For all you do is just be present with the listener, and not let the mind take over,

Then you just don’t say , ” That what is for you, is not what is for me”.

“No Oh no no”.. says life.

I’m the same everywhere, but each of you perceive me differently. One sees my sunny bright side, and the other sees the dark night.

Just be here for when you see my dark side look deeply into it, and from it you will see the coming of a promising light.

But if you shut your eyes and divert yourself from the darkness of sorrow, you will never know the light.

For as you shun away one, the other automatically gets shunned.

Rise above the dark and light, and see how they turn from day to night.

Then the reason for sorrow and pain do not seem unreasonable,

For reason leaves behind it’s reasoning and works on understanding now.

Then the unreasonable .and the reasonable just don’t seem to exist

For Reason and resonability is neither for you or me to decide, it’s the inner sight that sees it right.

A whisper in my ear…

A turmoil in my brain, as to what to do and what not to?

Around me, all I could comprehend was hurt, sorrow, conflict terrorism, corruption etc..

Yes it is all around and in this life of which we are a part..

Are you disturbed? I admit I am..

Why oh why can’t peope live as friends in peace and prosperity?

Isn’t there enough for everyone?

The universe is abundant, and infinite, and we are a part aren’t we?

So why the stress and anxiety?

Why is this yours and that mine? Why are we so divided?

Your religion or mine, doesn’t sound at all fine.

Then why do we run from here to there, in search of something not there.

For religion has no region, and no division, said a whisper in my ear.

So how could you use it to inculcate fear?

Fear rooted in the tree of desire, born out of the pleasure for more.

More happiness, more money &more fame.

Was all this needed by the name?

Or was there more to it..

Well said the whispering voice, ” That’s just not all my friend,

You’ve asked for more, so take it all..

I wondered what I had asked for, was I not innocent in my strive?

I only wanted to thrive? What was wrong I asked myself,

That intruding whisper heard it all, for the next thing it whispered was,

” Just your wanting is your desire, and so you invited in,

Anger, hatred, jealousy and all.

You got it all, and with it was born violence and a burning nation.

And while you deem yourself right, you belong to the might.

But stand away, and look again, and then you’ll see that the so called seers,

While holding the torch to lead you on from darkness to light,

Lost their way, stumbled and fell, setting ablaze on mankind,

Atrocities of the worst kind.

But listen whispered the voice from within, ” Just stay still”

You are your own seer and sire.

Am I ? Yes whispered back the whisper, and then out of the blue,

I heard another whisper, I like this , and it is indeed true.

Shhh… Now I know.. that I’ve all I got.

I choose what I am, and will be “

I choose my freedom , over all,.

And then like a lark in the sky so shall I fly.

A journey from 6 to 60….

Incredible!!! Yes yes, I’ll go through it once again..

But yes I’ll pause a little bit,

For as I stand at the beginning of the long bridge, once again,

I realise it has a lot to unfold, but to do that I have to let go,

Of things I experience on the way.

I saw myself at 6, the age of impressions.

my slate was blank till then,

I could choose what I wanted to fill in.

Or could just move on, having it blank all along.

For do you not think as I do, that each day is new,

Each day is a strife, never like the one you left behind.

So how could I fill it up with memories of the yesterday, yester year, and a yester life?

The bridge is beckoning, asking me to walk through again, minus the baggage,

Come on walk light, run and fly, for as you reach the end of the bridge, the wings of freedom will set you free.

Will I succeed, I ask myself?

It made me pause, was this bridge a runway? A runway to a take off.

What if I couldn’t take off?

What if the baggage bogged me down?

Could I just shed it now?

Well I looked in to see what it had, and the pandora box, revealed the me, I didn’t know .

For in the baggage was a hurt I felt when I just turned 6, and that was when an aunt ticked me off.

Thinking I was superior, I tried to play a prank, and she thought I ought to get a spank.

Well thats what good aunts do, teach their wards, but oh dear me, I just learnt it wrong.

I packed it in my bag and carried it all the way, and saw to it that other incidents, added on, like a coating all around,

And as I reached my teens, it grew heftier till I mistook it for me.

As the hurt filled my slate, there were others that followed suit.

Anger and fear of rejection, conditioning, and experiences left their mark,

All snuggled comfortably in my treasured bark.

Then I saw myself huffing and puffing, wondering if I would stop,

For the brook by the meadow, temptingly beckoned.

I hastened my steps to reach out to it, when i met a man on my way,

He was rude and mean, and that got me to scheme.

I opened my pandora box and let out the steam.

I saw myself patting my back, feeling elated.

“Now you see, I told myself, it’s worth the effort,

The baggage is not a waste after all.”

It warded him off, and as I walked off with a beam,

I suddenly realised that I had warded my chance to be by the brook.

I trudged on , the rough road ahead, blaming my fate which put me on a hook.

Till one day I fell, deep into slush, and sighed and cried,

” Oh why only me”, what have I done wrong, for all I did was to walk along,

But walk I did with the baggage on, all along.

And now I was in the midst of mud, my shoulder hurt, my legs stiffened and weak,

I gave up, I had failed and life seemed bleak, and now I was at the brink.

Putting my baggage down, I got up one last time, and reached the precipice.

Bracing to jump, I closed my eyes , One, Two, Three and I was free,

Well friends, it was that split moment, when consciousness intervened, and then,

I threw not myself but the bag of the self I thought was me.

The bag in which I held on to the goal of success, the one which lost me to the spirit of it.

I felt light as I walked on , reached the bridge, and saw a lit up one.

And then I knew I was on the runway to the flight to freedom and joy.

The unwanted baggage of hurts, deceit, despise, and resent, made my journey

fearful, with anger and despair at rejection.

And now as I see it all, its all gone,

Setting competition aside, I sit astride on the vehicle called life.

As it takes me ahead through its journey to love.

Seeing it all I wonder though, did it require me to pass through with all the baggage ,

To realise all I had to do was to shed it like garbage.

Life looked at me winking, ” Wise ass, you know it all now, so let be for now.

But remember to remember not to forget, that a baggage which bogs you down, is garbage to be shed” it said.

And remember you do not have to wait till 60 to do so.

I looked at it in the eye, and saw something I’d never seen before…

It smiled down at me, and for the first time I saw there was no bridge anywhere, I was on a runway to now here..

A flight without a take off or landing..

Looking at it I simply said ” Life You Damn Well Rock”…

An International Anthem please….

Dear readers,

It’s great that we celebrated 75 years of Independence, but have we accomplished independence?

75 years ago we were weak, and so we were usurped by the strong, the usurpers.

Yes we were Indians then, and Indians now, so what difference did we make?

Or rather what difference did our strength gain us today, excepting 75 years of India’s independence?

We were meant to be independent in thought, speech and action.

Are we independent and free?

As I see it,

Today patriotism is not just a nation you stand up for, or to just stand up and sing for the national anthem, or be teary eyed for our martyred soldiers.

It is much more, though not a lot more. It is the ability to be human rather than just remain an Indian, or British, or European or American and so on.

For today nations are burning, and the innocent are killed all for the sake of nationality.

Each nation has their share of good and bad, their share of innocents and treacherous.

So what do we say, and do?

As we go out protecting our nation, unknowingly we create a divide.

For the issue is bigger, much larger than we can see.

To protect humanity, let’s just let the “my country” slogans take a back seat.

My country , can be replaced by our world..

Those were for those days in history when the spirit of nationalism was inculcated in order to ward away foreign reign.

God we so carry it on don’t we?

It was the need of the hour then, and today our need is different, but we can’t help it can we?

We repeat yesterday, without understanding the needs of today, and so history repeats itself, and we go round and round in circles, till the time comes for us to get off.

So let’s just stop right now and just go about spreading good will and warmth all over, to all.

We are humans first, and let’s remember what our forefathers taught us.

In those days, we were required to secure and protect our nation, so we were taught to call ourselves Indians.

No division in terms of caste and creed, no division on where we were geographically placed.

” From the north and from the south and from the east or west, we belong here together,

And we are delighted that we are united into God’s own family”.

A chorus song we sang in school, still rings through my ears..

Earlier it was from the north ,south, east and west of India, for then India was burning, and that was the need of the hour.

Today each country is protected only if we unite, and look at the world as a whole.

Today it is the world, and all of us in it. It’s the need to be together as one whole family.

Maybe some laws may be strategically necessary to ensure the smooth functioning of all the nations in the world.

Just like divisions just based on convenience, but that is strictly for convenience, within we are all one.

Many families, many nations all converging together as one.

Oh what fun!!!

Cheer up all of you worldwide,

For today is not the time of a divide.

We are all on the map of the world, the one and only whole -Globe.

Then why the gap in the whole?

It did start eons earlier, but the gap widened until it was difficult to bridge,

How did our math go wrong?

Slowly different ideas and thoughts infiltered, when keepers of scriptures,

Redefined and interpreted our texts, the way they saw it.

For in trying to protect each one’s nation, as the world leaders suggest, we’ve crossed all bounds and endangered our very species.

The only one truth is that we are all humans, and are one.

Please let’s not be divided internationally.

Defining and naming countries as per geographical limits was done for the sake of convenience, so what was it that blew it out of proportion.

What made us believe that we could divide it into my nation and yours?

When we were in school , we were told not to divide our selves into castes and creeds, like Hindu , Muslim, Sikh, Christian etc, but to introduce ourselves as Indians.

The concept is right, our elders, and teachers, worked together not to create a division, in the nation.

But unknowingly a divide was created in the world all over, as humans think alike, and nations felt the need to keep themselves secure from the others.

Well we all know that gaps have widened and today the need of the hour is to bridge them.

It is clear, we are all one here, and as much as we feel loyal to our nation, let’s stand up to the clarion call.

A call to all,

We are all together in the midst of a crisis, where come what may, we cannot get out,

All our brave soldiers, and all the ammunition, and remunition, cannot bring us respite,

For in the deep down common consciousness, there is a state of unrest, brought about by fear, anger and violence,

Where all the energies of mankind are wasted in planning, strategizing and scheming, one nation against the other,

Man’s intelligence is wasted in the unintelligent, for no matter what, we live in division.

Let’s join hands together, and sing an international anthem, for world peace?

For today what we begin, will continue on for centuries to come,

Let’s leave a legacy behind where no soldier needs to sacrifice his life, where no parent loses their child,

Where every child and grown up can breathe and be free,

where the scare of being captured and killed, no longer lingers,

The lurking fear and danger, wiped out of minds never to return.

Then the fragrance of pure air and love will fill the space, we pace on,

And all of us here will see the day, where we can all have a say,

That is when we will sing to the same tune, the tune of the pure consciousness of man.

And that is when man’s common consciousness will progress, and move from fear, hurt, anger, frustration, possessiveness, violence to a consciousness of love, intelligence, patience and peace.

Let’s begin today, for it’s never too late,..

I implore you all, pls come along, let’s not hurt any long,

For as I hear this call, I’m sure you’ll do so too.

So let’s walk together, as one, and as we walk the peace march,

Fear hurt and anger retreat, and in marches a higher intelligence, a wisdom that’s as divine as old wine,

It is in it’s nectar, that we swoon away, surging ahead, to everlasting peace.

When right equals wrong..

When the mind tricks you into believing you are right, watch again, for the same mind tricked you earlier into believing you were wrong.

Right and wrong are just figments of the mind, like the two sides of a coin.

Remember school and the tick and cross of the teacher’s marks on our answer papers.

Many a cross you would like to justify to her, and tell her to tick it right, but were there any ticks you would justify and ask her to cross them wrong?

That was yesterday wasn’t it?

All that matters today is to enjoy your cup of tea or coffee, or whatever you are doing, the ticks and crosses do not count anymore.

Are you’ll with me?

For if you are, let’s just enjoy the cup of coffee and tea, enjoying beauty around us.

Yes there you go, you are indeed in joy enjoying the coffee, and then all of a sudden, the mind intervenes, reminding you of the yester.

It feels left out, as you’ve left it out, so vehemently it reminds you of that day when you were wronged, “Doesn’t your heart bleed, remembering the trauma you faced in your youth?” it cries out imploringly.

“Remember the times you were trapped in a relationship and you felt you couldn’t get out? You were wronged again.”

Good Lord, you fall for it, don’t you? I would too.

The awesome cup of coffee no longer tastes awesome now, for the memories of suffering take it’s place.

Then we feel betrayed by life, by our environment and by all around us.

Now as we get trapped in the depths of our mind, we lose out on the very beauty around.

For around us sits the ego mind, ensuring we never let go, as then it has no place to go.

It establishes its presence at the cost of our joy, and do you know why?

For, ages ago it found a beautiful home, in the minds of the innocent soul, who knew no pride or prejudice,

For he was born in life to learn, evolve and rejoice.

Then what just happened on the way? For he saw night in the light of day.

The voice from within said “It’s alright , suffering is inevitable, for in the dark of night there is light.”

The ego felt threatened for the voice was wise, so it sprang up, making it’s presence felt, ” Don’t you listen dear friend for your suffering is one of it’s kind. There is absolutely no light.

Then the ego stifled the voice and said ” Shut up!! Do you know what suffering is? “

In fear of losing it’s presence, it clung on to the innocent mind, till it succeeded in it’s goal.

For it converted the conscious to the unconscious, so as to secure it’s hold.

Then came the wise, and saw through it’s vice, but the ego was vicious and unkind, it played on the mind. Knocking loudly at our doors again, it pretended to be the wise and said,

” Wisdom dear friend is when you see your suffering, put it in your memory, and play it on, till it takes a grip on you, for is it not why you suffered?”

The poor man suffered yesterday, carried it today, and ensured it’s company for the day after today.

The wise he could not recognise, for he felt he was a threat, telling him to let go, of the suffering which was his identity.

He couldn’t lose that could he? For the ego ensured so, and the chuckling ego sure had it’s way.

Till one day, as the man sat on his bed, filled with woe, not knowing where to go, he saw a wise angel before him and told him to let go.

It was difficult for him to do so, as the ego solidified within ensured so.

As he was about to weep, the angel took a leap, and stood by his side and said ” Shhhhh, just be here with me, and see what I see.”

The man in his desperation sat still and saw his sorrow, and in it’s midst something cracked, the ego fled and he saw clearly that his sorrow was not his, but that of the entire mankind.

He wiped his tears and looked around, all like him, were all around. Then a strange but beautiful feeling came in,

“Why didn’t I see this earlier?”, he asked the angel earnestly.

You were smitten by the ego sir.

Then came hope, and with it love, encompassing all. Was this compassion? he asked.

Yes said his true self, and then the wisdom within looked at the beauty around.

He had risen and was above all. The ego quashed, and it was time for him to rejoice..

Children and Immensity… Dedicated to all parents.

Why do you want a child? Why do we have children?

Is it for a social status, or security of continuation or just mere curiosity.

I for one, couldn’t imagine a life without children, for more than anything else, it gave me a sense of fulfilment.

Now when I ask myself what this was? Pat came the answer from within,

It was a feeling of wholeness, but mind you, it’s not necessary that everyone thinks the same.

I know a few close friends who have chosen not to have children, and I more than respect the choice they made.

They are happy and content as they are, and live the way they wish to be.

A fair proposition indeed.

But now may I ask “ What about us the major rest”?

Do we have children for the sake of answering back to curious passers by who are like FI agents, doing a background check,

1. Marital Status? Married.

2. How many children? None. Now most of us do not like to leave the blanks empty.

For turned up noses say, “how awful,” and inquisitiveness creeps over..

Then for the next question “Can’t have them or don’t want them?”

Can’t have them ?

In earlier days, “Oh you can’t have children, my god, how will you live through?” a pitiful look comes your way.

and then whispering tongues, suggest you are unlucky and not fit to attend auspicious occasions, as your bad luck may rub off on other prospective contenders.

Now for the don’t want them ones,

” Look at their cheek, aren’t they self centred and pre occupied? They boldly say they don’t want children. Oh God what is the world coming to?” This is what we’ve all heard all along.

Now what would you say to this? I’d say they need to have their heads examined.

And it’s sad to know that the ones who need to have their heads examined are a part of the majority who have kids.

It’s natural to have kids, and aid creation, but it’s equally important to know the implications of having one.

Are you willing to be a medium to bring them into the world, and play the role of a parent, till need be?

If so listen to this:

In a child is the universe in all its immensity.

Observe and you will know..

Nature nurtures, the fusion seed, and gives it all it needs,

Till it’s ready, the baby boy or girl.

Then with a forceful thrust,

It’s out into the world, where nature provides again,

For 2 pairs of arms, called parents, rock him in, to rock the world or roll in.

The nights were tough, and so were the days, with absolutely no respite, except for one,

The fact that they were the chosen ones.

They were to show the little fledgling the bright of day and the dark of night.

Then what just happened on the way, is there need to know?

For as a caretaker nurturing and caring was their role, but while holding on to the little fledging, they mistook him/her as theirs,

Well the able pair of parents, proudly held their fledgling, till it was ready for flight,

But on the way , did they sway or did they hold him right?

For were they ready to let him go, and follow his dreams, or was he even allowed to dream?

No, for before this fledgling knew to fly, his wings were clipped with fantasies, superstitions rights and wrongs, for his parents possessed what wasn’t theirs to possess, and then began the same old era,

The era of the strained relationship of a parent and child.

The immensity of the potential of the child was quashed under the possessive parent, who left him with no choice, to even dream his dream.

For he was their child, and they dreamt for him.

And that is when their heart lost out to their head.

The head that reminded them of the sacrifices they made all the way, of the pains and struggles they went through on the way,

The head that brought forth their ego telling them that after all they’ve done for him he cannot have his way.

It has to be their way or the highway.

Dear Parent,

You sacrificed but did you not volunteer to?

Were you not born to traverse your path in the journey through time and space, and in the journey did you not ask for children?

You asked for them because you felt you wouldn’t be whole without them.

Then why crib? Why make children feel bogged down under the weight of obligation.

Instead they obliged you by coming into the world through you.

They let you develop emotions of love and care, and gave rise to the most wonderous feelings of joy and bliss in their innocence.

The house turned into a home and haven with their spritely voices and pit pattering feet,

The home was full with the fragrance of innocence and bliss, which kept intact your childhood.

But when they grew up you forgot to mention the joys they gave, and instead focussed on the toil and pains you took to bring them up.

For when you decided to be parents, you signed the contract, of being the medium, to a new life.

Remember you too came in through a medium, and all you did was to give what you took.

Nature has its ways, to teach you, flow along, with it’s song, the song of life,

the song of the heart, as eternal love gets it’s due, in the form of a love so true,

For underneath the form of a child, yet to be formed is the spark of love and grace,

which when ignited, will embrace you and the world with love and compassion and a respect unasked.

For it’s the respect out of love, not out of fear or power.

Not conditional but totally unconditional,

So just watch your young one bloom, and as you do so,

You’ll know you played the role of the parent you chose to be.

And then as you look at yourself, whole and complete, you’ll bloom a final bloom.

Friends, we do things in good faith, so let’s do it with faith in ourselves, in the universe, and in the natural laws.

The river flows on, forward never backward, and so does a tree shed it’s fruit, without expecting to possess it, and as you follow their example, so will you flow on..

When she was, I wasn’t..

Was I there when she was?

Asking myself this today, let me assure you I am here right now.

I am absolutely sitting in the same place she was, a few, years ago, where I saw her die slowly but gracefully.

That was mother wasn’t she?

Wish to say, that is mother, do I?

You bet I damn well wish it, as anyone of you would do?

Then ask yourself as I ask myself why don’t we wish it then.

Why weren’t we there when she was?

Always scrambling away to another zone, a territory unknown,

But I didn’t go in to hers, as I made my zone different from hers.

Well mother,I’ve learnt it,and I am right here. Now with an open mind and open hand I write it all.

Spirited and bold was mother, an epitome of grace and love,

Yes, she too was a prey to conditions, which set in early, during her hardship days.

Brought up by a single parent her mother, she survived the partition and her loneliness, with the same gusto as she enjoyed her simple moments of fun.

The fun days were her school ones, where she bestowed great courage, and skill,

When at the age of seven, she crossed the Shivaji Pul bridge on a monsoon night, to deliver medicine to her sick grandpa, and his smile when she delivered it stayed with her all along.

The college days when she turned the clock an hour behind to get an extra hour of badminton time.

Switching from medical science to art, following her heart, did not seem to her a bad deal at all, though when her mother found out, she felt she was meted a raw deal.

Then in college, mum was the heart throb of many, and she thoroughly enjoyed the attention.

But her heart was set on only one, the shy, dashing, dark handsome man from Bombay, my father.

To him she gave her all, her heart and mind, when he made her his.

And as she walked by his side, she was proud she was his wife.

Her huge joint family consisted of cousins and their wives, affluent and rich,

Her husband was the only son, to a father whose wealth left him in mediocrity.

So though they lived together, in a huge sprawling bungalow, her portion was little,

But as she rode behind him on his scooter, she felt the wind tell her, you have it all,

That is how she shrugged their invitation to ride in their huge cars, preferring her husband’s lambretta to their impala.

Then came the worst, when her husband took her away to Coimbatore, where they struggled for years to come.

They didn’t know the language, and had two small daughters, me and my little sister.

But mum was spirited, she laughed and smiled her way out, learning the new dialect, and mastered it as she mastered the art of cooking and housekeeping.

She learnt to laugh and play, for the afternoons were hers , aha those were her rummy days.

She played with the affluent Naidus and Swamys of the south, women spoilt and rich, buttered with hovering butlers.

Yet they chose her home over the rest, for mom had a style of her own, spontaneous and spirited . A gracious host she cooked tasty fare.No matter what, she was happy, and was proud of doing the things she loved.

She had no pretence, or nothing to fear, so when her father in law visited her, she hid nothing

She gave him all her attention and love wholeheartedly, for he was the father she never had.

But when the clock struck two mum was out, playing her game of sequences and trios.

Granddad said nothing, he secretly admired her, and many a time when she came home tired, he would ask her winking at us” Oh beta, have you lost?” And then she would grin and say “.

Yes dada”

Aw come on, he’d reply, I’ll take you’ll out for dinner, the treat is mine, and we would all bundle up into dad’s old standard, where dada would insist on driving, and I’d bend my head down, afraid of being seen.

For he would start with a screech, sending all heads turned towards us.

Well this was it, the difference between mum and me, she didn’t care and accepted everyone for what they were.

My father died pretty young, and she lived alone for years on her own happy and content.

A happy go lucky woman with a golden heart, and now as I tell you this I see her during her last days, playing Antakshari and singing songs with my husband.

Yes her ill health did give her painful moments towards the end of her life, but she took them in her stride.

During her last years, she had absolutely no regrets, yes her house which is disputed, till today, did cause her concern.

But then as she always said, some cards aren’t played well.

And as the game of winning and losing continues on, there are days when all is well and others when things just don’t seem right.

The important thing she taught before she left ,” Go along with your heart, for your journey is yours and no one else’s.

Don’t you get into that bullshit of “ Oh what will the world say”

She would just shrug it as “HUMBUG”.

For within you is that beating heart, telling you to walk on your special path.

Walk on till you reach your end, and then as I saw her go, her looks told me she was about to fly away,

And as I told her to go and fly to freedom, I saw her fly away…..

She flew with them along, , her heart and her soul together..

A Conversation, between G and M…

G stands for the government, and M is me, that is commonly you and me..

M: We trusted in you and voted for you, do you think you have even delivered a quarter of what you promised us?

Or did you just appease me, to be appeased?

I didn’t elect you for nothing, did I? For I gave you my valuable vote, didn’t I ?

I did my duty, and now’s your turn, for I want it all set right.

The promises you made, before you were on the chair?

What were they? Good roads, an enviable economy, education for all , democratic policies to be kept in place. Freedom of thought , speech and belief.

Well you got to be kidding, if you think you’ve achieved this, for instead we’ve just witnessed a massacre, haven’t we?

The massacre of equality, of thought , speech religion and belief, which the flames of desire caused.

Did you stand, beside me and witness the burning of our nation, or were you and are you still in the illusion, that we are prospering?

You are answerable, so please answer now.

G: Please do not forget that I am the governing body, and have done all within my capacity, to govern the country rightly.

Let me see.. Infact we need to review the situation, don’t we?

M: Hahaha … Why am I involved here? You sure seem conceited.

Before the elections, you promised us a free country, absolutely democratic, where constitutional laws would be followed, and there would be no dearth of anything for any one.

Anyway you want a review so here it is

Are you not the government? Is it not your responsibility to work for the nation?

But sadly, the moment you came in power, something struck you, like a hurricane would, shredding you of the last vestige of kindness, and compassion and a moral responsibility, which comes with the chair.

For did the chair spell something else to you? If it did, step down, and work like the ordinary.

Look into it now, it’s you who are corrupt, isn’t it?

For corrupt officials, they are yours, they are the ones, who have given money, an unimaginable power, where the gap between the rich and poor can never be bridged.

The poor remain hungry, and the rich are overfed to the point of indigestion.

For is it not your officials who are the cause? Aren’t they up to mischief of a devious kind?

Standing on your side of the plane you see things as plain, as you want to, don’t you?

For you overlook the atrocities of your self, and give contracts to builders not for their skill, but for their will.

Their will to pay you the maximum than the other, and that is when you favour him to the exclusion of the other.

Then you assist in reclaiming land, unauthorised by natural law, because you decide to turn a blind eye to the deeds of the powerful.

Oh and to remind you, we have other two categories of people, the middle class and the upper middle class too.

Both whom you prod with sticks of thorns, for whichever way they go, they are sure to fall.

Surely you remember all your fancy policies, don’t you?

Don’t you think it is a a loser game?

For on one side of the pole is the underprivileged, who once privileged will lead us to a growing economy, thus securing our nation, forever.

So see what you are doing?

If you looked at it the this way, you would push them up the other half as you saw them reach half way up.

But you seem to be only interested in filling your coffers, so you only safeguard the fillers of your coffers.

What sort of a demon are you?

Your schemes and cunning plots will lead nowhere, except to darkness.

For in the light of the false right, your so called righteous ways, are a sure path to the dark.

What have you to hark?

The light or the dark, and if it’s the light you are to hark, then look within and observe….

G: Ah, yes I admit, there are corrupt parts of me, attacking and gnawing through the system, destroying it’s very foundations.

I am greedy to get, and in return I’ve sold a part of me to you.

And that part dear friend, had all my essential qualities, by which I could enhance my being.

But then you came on, and flashed the glitter of gold right in my eyes, and me a wanderer who refused to recognise the purpose of the chair, grabbed it as it seemed right.

Before I got the chair, I was one like you, who thought I’d work towards the betterment of man.

Then I played the game of the poll run, and won it hands down.

For no matter the stiff competition, my hands were focussed on the purpose.

Then came the day, I sat on the chair, and that was just dooms day.

For something sprouted from within, and it was then that sensation set in,

The sensations which brought in the thought for a desire of more.

So now my friend, I’ve lost it, for the hunger for power is unsatiable,

And I have lost the light to my purpose, and as I grope in the dark,

I commit the darkest of crimes, in the name of law.

M: Thank God you admit it, so now can you change your wayward ways?

Can you go back to the times when you worked towards your purpose?

When you saw sorrow, and a feeling of love and compassion came from within you,

That was when the money and power game was not so important to you, as was love for your subjects.

G: You are all right, but wait a minute dear friend, let’s review a bit further, can we?

I am on the other aside of the plane, but once I was on your side, and then you said I was like you, I had compassion, love, and could empathise with people in their sorrow, right?

But did you notice that when I went on the other side , I looked at life from that side.

For is it not true, that everyone who goes on the other side behaves the way I do?

I can tell you sirs , that this is really true, for from the side I am in, I see you, as me.

For you are as corrupt as I am, so some of you want everything greedily for themselves, earn more, pay more to us.

Then there is one lot of you, who do not want to take any responsibility whatsoever.

You think you owe us, as you’ve voted for us, but let me tell you something, that unless and until you take responsibility for your own deeds and actions, no one else will.

You’ve given me the total responsibility to be responsible for you, so here I am doing it the way I deem right.

For you can’t have the cake and eat it too.

You litter, and pollute the streets and the air, making me your clean up guy.

Have a heart you heartless being, for all you can think of is your only being.

Being asleep all day long, day dreaming of a better country, with you having no hand in making it true,

Because is it not the responsibility of the government servant?

For haven’t you given him your valuable vote?

After all haven’t you appointed him to do so, and you did this so you could sleep all day long and through the night too.

And mind you, you also remember to do your bit, backlash him every time he doesn’t do his bit,

For is he not supposed to take charge and clean up the mess you made,

Whether it is to the environment or to the neighbour, he is responsible for it all.

Then you teach him how to take a bribe, which indeed is justified,

For flaunting the law and damaging the environment, it is just a small price you pay, for the fulfilment of your desires.

You and me both think so too, until their comes a day when we realise its a big price to pay.

We’ve sold ourselves into slavery , as slaves of pleasure and desire, there seems only one way out ,

Out of the cave of darkness,

The 1st is to understand no matter what we are one, the giver and the receiver,

And to eradicate this darkness, let’s be the change we want to change,

No you and me, no slander or defamation,

Change first, and be the change you want in us, and in the world.

Do not bribe and I shall not be bribed, take responsibility of you ,by you, for you, and I shall take responsibility of me.

No longer will we be divided, for united we’ll stand.

M: Well said friend, you seem to be right, let’s walk hand in hand, and be the might to the real right…

Do your part, and the rest of the parts will find its way in to solve the biggest challenge we are all facing today. Please dear friends just do your bit.. God Bless.

As life just Blindsided us….

As life blindsided us, we are in a strange predicament,

For the known just turned unknown, and the unknown known,

As all we knew until now, was to live in the space of the outer,

where superstitions and cultural beliefs, false persona etc, took away the space that was ours.

And then life played up and dealt us a severe blow on our blind side, forcing us to see the other side.

Now as we move our vision to the other side, we just saw what was in the blind.

Wondering on what I’m about to unfold, there’s a lot in here, if you remove that blindfold.

For life just blinded you to the side you always saw, and opened up the window you were blinded to.

However, it’s up to you to open up the blinds and see the side blinded in you for life..

But if you’re one who feels you’re ok as you are, then don’t read further down, for what is below, will definitely have you mellow.

For the ones who want to mellow,

Did you know, that we are into more than 430 odd days into a pandemic, which does not seem to end?

That nature looks upon us everyday, trying to find a trace of evolution, trying to seek a positive answer to the question ” Will we see beyond the bend?

The period has been tragic, some lost their loved ones, some their friends, some lost on strange paths, seeming never to end,

Economy crisis, retrenchment, some have seen it all, and to the others the fear of it happening lurks over.,

But what do we make of all this?

Do we know, that all is on stake, for us to just see,

That no matter what, we all slept in the nights, no matter when,

Some in the wee hours of the morning, and and a few lucky, at ten.

But sleep we did, work we did, cook we did, eat we did, and worry we did,

Locked up in our homes, for some the morns never ended and for others the nights just didn’t pass,

Yet days passed by, not one, not two, but a good four hundred and twenty nine,

Yet this game seems to go on, and even though the sun doesn’t always shine,

The days it does brings hope to our every bit, however this is still just not it,

As every time I sigh, I know we are still not on the high,

For deep down we want things to be the way they are, the way we want them to be, but nature says there is another way,

It will not relent, unless you consent, for it’s time to let go,

Let go of greed, appearing as need,

Let go of that ego and look beyond yourself,

For as you go beyond you, you see a broader world, one where you can cohabit with the rest.

And as you expand in the expanse, you see your true “I “, the one that made you happen.

It is there and was always there hidden beneath the cluster of “I”s, which beckon us all the time.

One tells us to go ahead and live life king size, the other says “Oh just shut up and stay put”,

One says “Freak out”, the other says “The neighbours are watching put up a good front”, one hates you, the other loves all, which are we?

They confuse us, and round and round we move around in circles, until one day, comes this pandemic, and says,

“STOP”, and LISTEN , Mend your ways, and find yourself or else….

Or else what says another defiant “I”.

“Just stop where you are, go no further”, nature beckons,

For you’ve done enough damage, and now’s my turn,

We pay no heed and listen to our I’s ,

What is this we hear, there are some I’s telling us, “take advantage of the situation,

They’re not yours who’ve gone, so don’t worry, there will be better days,

Just hoard and play safe, for these days will pass,

Your lucky, all your dear ones are safe, it’s the others who suffer, it’s theirs that are gone.”

“Oh it’s their karma, what can we do?”, popped in another one with it’s say,

As it went on endlessly chattering, I spent the rest of my days dwelling in myself and my “I’s”.

Till one day I reach the end of the tether, just in time to realise my lease of life is just over, and what is left are those staggering moments,

Grasping them, as I gasp my way to an end, but then wait, did I see a light at the end of the tunnel?

No I didn’t, cause I was busy trying to hold on to life even more.

“Hey it said , your stay ends here,”

“Why so? I’ve not seen you yet? This is just not fair,” I retorted back.

It replied, “What was that then, the endless days and nights, as you huffed and puffed , trudging your way through thorny paths,

I asked you to look at the pleasant sights, but you, couldn’t do so, for the minute you looked at a pleasant sight, you wanted more,

And then you ran yourself sore, trying to grasp more, until you huffed and puffed again, and then reached the end of the tether holding you to dear life,”

It snapped taking me far beyond, into oblivion, and I woke up.

Oh was it a nightmare?

Awakened, I suddenly realise that I can’t let this happen,

We’ve lost dear ones, and nature’s fury is at it’s peak,

Can we look within, and take a peek,

for are we really demons in the guise of angels?

Then I knew something was wrong, for all along I wasn’t the actual me,

I had to look for my real one, the one with compassion and love, the one I came in with,

As I looked in, I found it, sitting beneath a whole lot of false” I’s”, and there it grinned at me as it said,

” Welcome home” You wanderer fugitive, and it sat me down.

Listen it said ” You may not like me much as you’ve been away long,

Impatient my other I’s were, assuring and cajoling me to walk away, but now I knew I had to hold on,

For I wanted the truth, only my real “I” could reveal, so I sat put and here I go.

Congratulations!! For if you’re reading this your blindside too is lost forever,

Strong and calm , wise and bold are you, to face the world of storms,

For whether we like it or not, the storms will come and pass.

You are here, in the midst of a crisis, and remember till you are here, stay on, in this moment,

Whether in heat or cold, every moment just hold,

For in the passing time, as we pass on, leaving all behind,

We go on, content , for we’ve seen the whole, the storm and calm, and no matter what,

We lived on, living life, moment to moment, day to day,

With no qualms, no pain, no pleasure, just the satisfaction of seeing things as they passed.

Undaunted you stood with the knowledge that your turn could be next, yet relentless, you didn’t flicker, for you knew the ways of the world.

Then when the times up, you know you made good use of your lease to a life so rich, you lived it wholly, without a flinch.

The goodbyes would be enriched with the essence of pure life, you carry back to your source.

Wake up friend for you are here, and blind to the side of the dark,

Open your eyes for now is when you can see the light, through the darkness of the night,

For it’s dark in here, what with Corona and it’s effects,

But you are in light, for you’ve opened your door, to the side not dark,

You’ve blinded the one who blinded, all along ,

The one who put my real self in the blind side of life..

So for now on know,

Lockdown or not, you will get your daily bread, if you intent it so, yes your bread not the others,

If you know the difference, that will be your inference, of the truth from the false,

For what once seemed to be true, was all false,

Running and racing, we lost the race to grace, only to fall in disgrace,

But then nature is kind, as a divine force intervened, and drastically shut us down,

Till we pushed the side we groped up, down,

And in the bargain as the blinded side thrust up, we were no more locked up, in the perceptions of the mind,

For then is when we could see, lockdown or not, the even flow of a common consciousness.

This consciousness beckons you to see it, “please it cries exasperatedly, where are you?”

Stop and see, what I want you to.

Enjoy me as I am, don’t turn me into what I’m not,

For from the roots of the trees, the leaves, the branches and the fruits, I am all but one,

I beckon you to enjoy me, and not cut me down, for I live here just like you,

The birds beckon too, and so do the animals and fishes, we live here too, let us be,

It’s our home too, can you not see?

The wind and the breeze, depict the free mind of the universe, cool and refreshing, inviting you to partake too.

“Please enjoy all of nature as we are”, humbly requests nature to all of us, for the laws of nature are the same for all of us.”

Believe in the provider, and know you will be provided,

For have you not embarked into this journey of time, to experience and evolve?

Not to stay and ask for more, for there is where you divest out, out of your arena into one of pleasure and pain.

But if you stop a while and taste my fruit, the sweetness in it’s taste will linger on for ever,

That is when you’ll have your fill and not need more.

See your self as you are, then you’ll know why you are here.

Then you’ll dare to live life without a scare.

The darkness just got blinded by the all pervading light.

When the Destiny of Death meets life..

That’s what miracles are all about, and the story I’m just about to narrate is nothing short of one.

Who says there is a dearth of nice people? Who says there is evil and no good on this planet?

Well whoever did, will know they were wrong, and terribly so.

There is only evil and good in the eyes of the one who see them so.

Well my explanations can wait, as they seem bland, in comparison to the real life story I’m just about to narrate.

The story of two young children, Rahul and Kadu, aged 5 and 3 years respectively.

They were at the end of the tether, which held them on to a miserable life, and was it better it snapped?

Not so for these little boys, as they had strong life energy within them, and it strengthened their hold on the tether, refusing to let go.

They were not going to give up, and that is when they had a tryst with life.

Jyotsana , their mother was left to fend for herself and these two small children, when her husband left her for another woman.

Poverty and exploitation, superseded all, and she decided to call it a day.

She lay in a drunken and unconscious state, with her two children near a roadside gutter in Surat, when a disgusted tempo driver, passing by, picked them up.

He dropped them off on the outskirts of Motafafali, a village near the Narmada river, and they were brought to the Chotubhai Hospital Charitable trust, when Mr Ashokbhai Patel received a call from 108.

Something seemed to change, was it a turning point in their life?

Not yet, but yes a transition began, for Ashokbhai and his son, Dr Nirav Patel were instrumental in giving these children and their mother a new lease of life.

The mother and children were brought in , cleaned up and treated for their ailments.

It turned out that the mother’s liver was damaged and the hospital treated her for the same.

When she was better they offered her a place to stay in the hospital premises, and offered her a job too.

The children were being prepared to be sent to the school run by the trust, which is just opposite the hospital.

Then all of a sudden this lady disappeared again, taking both the children with her.

But surprisingly they returned within a few days, as the elder son Rahul and mother were sick again.

Ashokbhai & Dr Nirav, took care of them, with the help of their staff, and they were well on their way to recovery.

A rehabilitation programme was set up for Jyotsana, who could not mend her ways, and under the pretext of meeting someone, she ran away with her kids again.

However, Rahul knew that they would be safe in the hospital, so he confidently told a taxi driver to drop them off to the hospital, ( Ashokbhai had ensured that he always had the address and telephone no of the hospital with him.)

The taxi driver was reluctant at first, but Rahul confidently assured him, that he would pay him his wages once they reach the hospital.

He dropped them off, and Rahul went promptly up to Ashokbhai, asking him to pay Rs 200/ to the taxi driver.

Ashokbhai willingly did so, and was glad that Rahul treated the hospital as his home.

Jyotsana was so wayward, that little Rahul, though just 5 years old, was accustomed to being the head of the family.

He took charge, and initially had even offered Ashok bhai some money for their upkeep.

He had a few rupees which he had earned begging on the streets of Surat.

Ashokbhai laughingly mentioned this to us, and we were as stunned as he was, when this young little kid had offered him money.

Beneath the innocence was this little boy’s responsibility to his family, and though Ashokbhai took his kind gesture in good humour, he was sad to see the boy and his brother in the state they were.

However not sure whether their mother would not run away again taking them with her, he told the boy to give him a call from wherever she took them.

A few days later this was exactly what happened, and Rahul called Ashokbhai from Surat, asking him to get him picked up.

Ashokbhai willingly did so, and got them back for the last time.

For soon after, their mother, who kept inviting the destiny of death to overpower the new lease of life given to her, passed away, leaving her children orphans.

The children too had to be sadly sent to an orphanage, as per the law.

But dear kind Ashok bhai did not give up, he kept contacting the orphanage, for their well being, and insisted they be sent for adoption together.

Then it seemed as if all their energies worked together, for destiny’s plan worked on their positivity.

A young couple from France, Christine Nadia Lapinsonniere, & Vincent Pierre Marie Pedel, adopted both the brothers.

You will be glad to know that today, Henri Rahul Marie Pedel, and Emilien Kadu Marie Pedel, reside at R/O, 72, Rue Achille, Viadieu, 31400, Toulouse, France.

Here it is amazing to note, that these two lovely souls, Christine and Vincent, stayed back in India, to learn about the children , their eating pattern, their lifestyle etc.

They wanted to be doubly sure that the children feel at home in a new land, and even joined cookery classes to be able to feed them as per their palate , until they get used to the cuisine in France.

So thoughtful and noble.

I was speechless, and all I could do was to write this down.

It seemed a if destiny worked for these boys, instead of against them, and I know why, cause they worked along.

The innocent boys, accepted their mother for what she was, and accepted their situation, not in despair, but as it was.

They somehow seemed to know that behind the underlining cloud of darkness, was the shimmering line of bright light, and it did come with their patience and faith.

Kudos to Ashokbhai, Dr Nirav and the staff of Chotubhai Charitable hospital for being as patient kind and trusting in the goodness of the universe.

And Kudos to the most amazing selfless new parents to these children, Christine and Vincent.

May there be more like you. May your tribe increase.

God bless you and your wonderful new family.

The boys awaited your coming here, for you’ll belong together.

Positive energies attract, and they got you near, no matter how far you were.

For the destiny of life smiled on you all, and brought in pure light and love, as you’ll got together, one that is destined to make wonders in the world together.


The Pedel Family