The Ugly Duckling…

Hey baby, I’ve lost my way, as I walked in, the easy way,

For what looked straight and small, was indeed so crooked and long.

Life is just not about freebies and sweeties.

But today is special, as I just got one, and as I write, I’m inviting you too to get one.

Here I go, hope you get it too.

Well, this morning as I looked into the mirror, it showed me a different me, not the one I liked, but the real me.

Well I for one was infuriated, and questioned it sighing ” Why can’t you show me a different me, the one I want to be?”

It replied ” Why don’t you want to be who you are”?

Aw but doesn’t Rima look and have something more than I do?

My mirror looked back at me and replied firmly, “” Cut it, and get this straight, you are what you are, and the sooner you accept it so, the better, for you and me”.

“Ha ha don’t drag yourself in”, I sneeringly said.

And it replied smilingly, “”Then just don’t look into me and ask, for sweetheart you can’t have the cake and eat it too.”

“Okay okay , I understand, and here I am, letting you in, as I take my stand”, I surrendered quickly.

For what we loved about each other, was the understanding we had for the other,

So as I looked in I saw, myself as I am.

“Did you all know I love life, for its frills and thrills, without its bills and dirty chills.”

As I tell you this, the mirror pops up again to say,

“But those come in anyways, with the frills and thrills, did you not know?”

“I don’t want them anyways, do something can’t you?” it was my turn to be exasperated.

” Hey baby, take it or leave it, for they are a package deal.

As I smirked and sneered, I knew it was true, for yesterday on the lunch table eating chole, halwa and puri, with diet coke and ginger ale, I told Riti I’m calling it a day,

For its my weight I have to keep at bay, and as she smiled, I thought I’ll let her in, to another secret waiting to pop out,

So I said, “As a matter of fact it was only the day before, that the sumptuous ice cream jelly made its way, into my interior.”

“Oh, then just know the weight is never going to go away, as it’s host keeps telling it to stay.” she smilingly replied.

Now now, what had I just done? I’d let her on to another of my well cherished secret.

The ball was out, of my court, and as it entered hers, I hoped it would go unnoticed, but it didn’t.

Did I have to give myself away? I said, and she laughed and replied, ” No you didn’t have to”.

I just could keep things to myself, I told myself so,

“That’s just not you, as you want to have the cake and eat it too.” yelled back an antagonised mirror as it continued ,

“It’s enough for you to know you can’t do so, but what you can do is to pause a while, and see what I see.”

This sounded interesting, and curious to see what the mirror saw in me, I paused and paid attention.

It continued, ” Beyond that exterior, is an imperfect you, striving for perfection, and that perfection you are looking for, is just not you.

For you are wild, messy and bold, and when you shirk the real you, and imagine you are someone not you,

you lose out on the essence of your true you, the one you came to grow on.

For believe me baby, you were meant to be you, and not her or him.

The perfect you, is simply the imperfection in you.

“Look at you, through me, and I will reflect what you really are, no pretence ,but the actual you.”

“Here you go, are you ready? my mirror beckoned me to see who I really was.

Mustering up courage I looked into it, and saw a curly haired , round faced, cheerful woman, whose million dollar smile, curves up, to straighten things around.”

Suddenly the smile puckered into a scowl, for a part of me did not like what I just saw.

Then I saw what I never saw till now, and it was clear.

I saw myself through your mirror, and not mine.

Yes, you got it right.

I spent my entire life in comparison and competition, the never ending rat race.

As I smiled, and looked in to the mirror, it smiled back.

I guess you have transformed from the ugly duckling into a swan.

For as you get out of the rat race, you cease to be the ugly duckling, and realise your worth for who you are.

I was just not meant to be you, so striving to be you, only made me an ugly duckling.

Now, as I stopped comparing and competing with the other, I realised I was a beautiful swan.

The mirror laughed and said, ” The ugly duckling just discovered she’s a swan”.

I got this, and decided then and there.

No longer am I going to waste my energies trying to be you, or her or him.

Instead I’m going to do all it takes to give back to this wonderful planet, all that I’ve taken from it during all my long standing years here.

This indeed is a freebie I received just now, and am passing it on to you..

Believe me when I tell you now that as you dig into this freebie, it gets sweeter, as did life get,

For the ugly duckling when it realised it was a swan..

When the Destiny of Death meets life..

That’s what miracles are all about, and the story I’m just about to narrate is nothing short of one.

Who says there is a dearth of nice people? Who says there is evil and no good on this planet?

Well whoever did, will know they were wrong, and terribly so.

There is only evil and good in the eyes of the one who see them so.

Well my explanations can wait, as they seem bland, in comparison to the real life story I’m just about to narrate.

The story of two young children, Rahul and Kadu, aged 5 and 3 years respectively.

They were at the end of the tether, which held them on to a miserable life, and was it better it snapped?

Not so for these little boys, as they had strong life energy within them, and it strengthened their hold on the tether, refusing to let go.

They were not going to give up, and that is when they had a tryst with life.

Jyotsana , their mother was left to fend for herself and these two small children, when her husband left her for another woman.

Poverty and exploitation, superseded all, and she decided to call it a day.

She lay in a drunken and unconscious state, with her two children near a roadside gutter in Surat, when a disgusted tempo driver, passing by, picked them up.

He dropped them off on the outskirts of Motafafali, a village near the Narmada river, and they were brought to the Chotubhai Hospital Charitable trust, when Mr Ashokbhai Patel received a call from 108.

Something seemed to change, was it a turning point in their life?

Not yet, but yes a transition began, for Ashokbhai and his son, Dr Nirav Patel were instrumental in giving these children and their mother a new lease of life.

The mother and children were brought in , cleaned up and treated for their ailments.

It turned out that the mother’s liver was damaged and the hospital treated her for the same.

When she was better they offered her a place to stay in the hospital premises, and offered her a job too.

The children were being prepared to be sent to the school run by the trust, which is just opposite the hospital.

Then all of a sudden this lady disappeared again, taking both the children with her.

But surprisingly they returned within a few days, as the elder son Rahul and mother were sick again.

Ashokbhai & Dr Nirav, took care of them, with the help of their staff, and they were well on their way to recovery.

A rehabilitation programme was set up for Jyotsana, who could not mend her ways, and under the pretext of meeting someone, she ran away with her kids again.

However, Rahul knew that they would be safe in the hospital, so he confidently told a taxi driver to drop them off to the hospital, ( Ashokbhai had ensured that he always had the address and telephone no of the hospital with him.)

The taxi driver was reluctant at first, but Rahul confidently assured him, that he would pay him his wages once they reach the hospital.

He dropped them off, and Rahul went promptly up to Ashokbhai, asking him to pay Rs 200/ to the taxi driver.

Ashokbhai willingly did so, and was glad that Rahul treated the hospital as his home.

Jyotsana was so wayward, that little Rahul, though just 5 years old, was accustomed to being the head of the family.

He took charge, and initially had even offered Ashok bhai some money for their upkeep.

He had a few rupees which he had earned begging on the streets of Surat.

Ashokbhai laughingly mentioned this to us, and we were as stunned as he was, when this young little kid had offered him money.

Beneath the innocence was this little boy’s responsibility to his family, and though Ashokbhai took his kind gesture in good humour, he was sad to see the boy and his brother in the state they were.

However not sure whether their mother would not run away again taking them with her, he told the boy to give him a call from wherever she took them.

A few days later this was exactly what happened, and Rahul called Ashokbhai from Surat, asking him to get him picked up.

Ashokbhai willingly did so, and got them back for the last time.

For soon after, their mother, who kept inviting the destiny of death to overpower the new lease of life given to her, passed away, leaving her children orphans.

The children too had to be sadly sent to an orphanage, as per the law.

But dear kind Ashok bhai did not give up, he kept contacting the orphanage, for their well being, and insisted they be sent for adoption together.

Then it seemed as if all their energies worked together, for destiny’s plan worked on their positivity.

A young couple from France, Christine Nadia Lapinsonniere, & Vincent Pierre Marie Pedel, adopted both the brothers.

You will be glad to know that today, Henri Rahul Marie Pedel, and Emilien Kadu Marie Pedel, reside at R/O, 72, Rue Achille, Viadieu, 31400, Toulouse, France.

Here it is amazing to note, that these two lovely souls, Christine and Vincent, stayed back in India, to learn about the children , their eating pattern, their lifestyle etc.

They wanted to be doubly sure that the children feel at home in a new land, and even joined cookery classes to be able to feed them as per their palate , until they get used to the cuisine in France.

So thoughtful and noble.

I was speechless, and all I could do was to write this down.

It seemed a if destiny worked for these boys, instead of against them, and I know why, cause they worked along.

The innocent boys, accepted their mother for what she was, and accepted their situation, not in despair, but as it was.

They somehow seemed to know that behind the underlining cloud of darkness, was the shimmering line of bright light, and it did come with their patience and faith.

Kudos to Ashokbhai, Dr Nirav and the staff of Chotubhai Charitable hospital for being as patient kind and trusting in the goodness of the universe.

And Kudos to the most amazing selfless new parents to these children, Christine and Vincent.

May there be more like you. May your tribe increase.

God bless you and your wonderful new family.

The boys awaited your coming here, for you’ll belong together.

Positive energies attract, and they got you near, no matter how far you were.

For the destiny of life smiled on you all, and brought in pure light and love, as you’ll got together, one that is destined to make wonders in the world together.

.

The Pedel Family

Hey Woman!! – Break through…

Pretty Woman, fair of face and full of grace, have you seen the morning phase?

Or are you still quelling in the endless dark night, waiting for morning light?

If you’ve woken up to broad daylight, then cheers pretty woman, we have a reason to celeberate.

But if you are still waiting in darkness, dear one, then this day just seems like any other promising one.

Wake up dear one, the morning light just came over the horizon,

Fair one, be fair to yourself , and swim across from the banks of oppression to the banks of freedom.

Then like a child , somersault in the lawns , looking up at the sky and the grass, as you go up and down.

Have you forgotten to enjoy these simple sweet pleasures?

Break through a life where years of condition and oppression, made you dead to living.

Will you tow the line to oppressors, or will you be the change all world over?

Remember the oppressed created the oppressor, and all you need to do is stand up,

Stand up for yourself, by yourself, for it’s true , your life is yours and not someone else’s.

If you don’t do so, then know you are the oppressor, and not the oppressed.

For years of oppression, and congrats you’ve graduated,

From the epitome, of a self sacrificing woman to the woman who is licenced to oppress.

For today what you see as a sacrifice made, is yet another day, in the history of life.

Turn the tables over, and you’ll see a woman guilty of crime.

For your honour, the oppressed didn’t stand up to womanhood.

To the woman who is pretty inside out, who takes storms and calm in her stride,

Whose wisdom takes the world over, and transforms mankind.

She uses her strengths to love, and be loved,

She’s one who is loving , kind and wise , she’s strong and brave,

For she’s the one whose been bestowed the strength, the wisdom, and the courage to bestow,

Upon the world sanctity, peace and joy, for she’s the woman that rocks the cradle,

She bears for bearing, bearing and nurturing the seed to prosperity.

Patient and kind to learn and teach the game of love and peace.

Nowhere was she to use her wonder gifts, to suffer, and wallow,

In self pity and a false pride.

For in the bargain she created , monsters in the form of oppressors, and as she lived oppressed from within, she forgot why she came in.

Light disappeared from life, and sorrow became a way of life.

Then one day, a few of her clan saw differently, and as they acted, they became the achievers.

As Aditi the master achiever reveals,

“One day crying alone, after being beaten and starved I had no place to go. I wanted to oppress the oppressor, but felt caged .

Then desperate, I was shocked that I had such vicious thoughts,

If I walked out of the cage, would I turn an oppressor?

Was this what I came for?

Then my mind said, ” Oh no, How dare you think so? You are an epitome of goodness bearing it all with grace.”

But I went beyond, and just looked on.

Then spoke my heart, “It’s true, Aditi, look beyond, beyond what you think it is, for far beyond is actually what is.

Then it spoke clearly and in a flash all was clear.

“Why oh why would you bring on yourself, by yourself , someone else’s self?

For is it not just one life you granted yourself? Was it to wane away before it waxed ,for the other self?

For who are they, and do they know what it means to you to being you?

Did you not come down to cherish doing the things you could do in the body granted to you?”

Did you not oppress yourself by being oppressed?

And then after years of oppression, did you not turn the oppressor?

For you forgot how it felt to be free, and knew only these two.

The oppressor and the oppressed, the only validated two.

When you didn’t play one, you were meant to play the other.

From oppressed to oppressor, you swiftly changed roles, knowing no other.

Nipping them in their buds the same way as you were done to.

They never would flower too, cause you didn’t right?

You just became another link in the chain of oppressors and oppressed, and it just grew.”

She saw herself as she would be, and the heart said ” Break through”

The mind debated, ” Oh come on, don’t go through all this , it’s not true, I’m sure you’ll find a way later, it’s just not now.

You are comfortable and used to your zone, so don’t do anything to endanger it.

For now you’ll be in danger, for sure the mind went on and on..

I looked on, and went beyond..

The heart smiled and I heard it say, to reach me one has to go beyond you, and that seems a herculean task to most.

But Yeah you’ve done it, you are an achiever!!

And rightfully so, for achievers do what she did, blown off their minds, and stood up for themselves.

They’ve changed it all, for they are the change, and that is why they are achievers.

They saw beyond what seemed to be black and white.

They saw the different colours and the different hues which life meant us to.

As I see them , a transition begins from within,

And the heart begins to sing as it flies, oh where was I ?

It was dusk, and as the hues fade over the horizon, and in came the dark night, I knew I was the transition, and I saw day.

A day where, we can share space with each other, as equal individual beings, who fulfil their dreams, walking side by side in the wonder called our world..

Come aboard, dear woman, it’s time to achieve the things you want to, the reason you came here for, and as you transform, the world will too..

When the G in Grace gives way….its a race all way…

Grace got us here, into the realms of earth.

The baby’s soft cry , announcing his arrival , is grace telling you its arrived.

Accepting the little  bundle of grace, beckons you to handle him with care, and you do so with grace by your side,

For the baby has graced your home, with a grace unknown.

Then comes the day, when the baby grows up into a toddler, and that is the day, you let grace fly out.

But why? I ask so, and I hear the inevitable,

“She had to go, for there isn’t a place for her here now,  she graced our home long enough, so its time for the next phase in our lives, and  the new tenant, apparently is  race.” says you.

As the baby goes out into the world, the race of life, enters in, for we as parents have carried it all along, right from our days, and we refuse to let go.

The tradition of comparison, the conditioning which teaches us right and wrong, we carried all along, bringing in yesterday in our today. 

So now you can turn around and tell me I’m wrong,  I learnt too what you did and believed like you do, that life is a race, and  the end goal is to win it.  Isn’t this what we were taught all along?

“She seems to do the job better, so I need to improve on it”, says a voice from within, so go on strive harder till you reach where she stands.

And then as you stand where she is, pleased with yourself, that you’ve done it, you get an adrenalin rush to better.

But sweetheart did you see what I see? You measured yourself by a scale of her standards,  yours could be much higher, oops sorry, much different.

This is just what we all do, all the time. Race with one another, thinking we are winning a marathon, and our whole life goes in racing, till we reach the finish line.

“Oh yeah you think you’ve won, you duffer ,for you’ve been running on a wrong track”, says a voice from within.

The finish line in the game is not reaching the end, but walking towards it with grace all along.

The other day as I took my evening walk in  joggers park at the backroad, I enjoyed overtaking an  X , Y and  Z. Enjoying the  adrenalin rush every time I overtook someone, I noticed I was equally dismayed  when someone overtook me.  I then noticed that all along in the course of the walk, all I did was  a mental calculation of the ones I bettered to the ones bettering me.

Was this the scale of better or worse? Don’t we do it all along?.  Comparison kills you, as life is not a race.

You may be faster than me in walking the track, but then I may be a faster and smarter decision maker, does it matter?

We all walk at our pace in the game of life, so there is absolutely no measure .

You may earn a lot of money, where as I may have just enough to sustain, so how does it matter?

You conducted a grand wedding for your daughter, and now its my turn, so I need to do it better,  who says so? 

“Yes it does,  ’cause you are going to be living constantly in our midst, and you’ve attended so many nice ones, now its your turn , so how can you back off?” said my neighbour. But then does it actually matter.

You could lay off if you want to, or get into the measurable state, and that is when Grace is definitely out. 

Vanita tells her husband, ” Sheela’s got her house renovated, with all the latest gadgets, and her furniture is just wow, should we too go ahead and commence with our renovation?”

Well we live in a society, where race replaced Grace, so the husband relented even though it was beyond his means to do so. 

Why are we racing all the time, is it right or wrong?

Right for you and you and you, am I right? Yes, you are ,said all unanimously…

But then I’m out. For, I choose to differ and  society demands conformation, and now I am ousted,  an outsider, who is not in the race of life.

So as I step down, I knock at Grace’s door, “who is it?” She asks softly, I tell her its me, and invite her over to stay with me. 

She then whispers softly in my ears, “Sweetheart, before I enter your space, I want to know what it is filled with?

Is it filled with your so called benevolence, for all man thinks ,is that he has a race to win, a purpose to fulfil, and he the benevolent soul has all there is in him, to be good and do good”.

Do you belong there? For if you do I can’t come in.

However if you know, that you do  things , for you and not for the other,   I can come in.

For as you take responsibility for yourself by yourself, you have a chance to live life  the way it was meant to”.

“Yes I understand what you mean” and welcomed her in, so now dear friends, 

Out of a rat race is just being, what you are, how you are, and a you who is you. That is when  grace comes in, and as you surrender to life,  the  magical door to paradise  opens up, showing  you its hidden treasures.

Here  there is no conformity to rules, made by traditions, beliefs, culture, and division ,where  you are free to fly high in the open sky.

Here there is no you and me, no division, and that is when  you become an individual, ( undivided whole) in the true sense of the word. 

Then you live in a land of no suffering , pain , anxiety, anger and greed. 

 A higher living is graced by grace itself,  and as you surrender to what is, you will reach the finish line to the end of a saga well done.

Wow, smarties! which did you choose? I chose Grace, in the one life I have, for it indeed is the right heir to the kingdom of paradise.

Who are they?

Eena, Meena, Anju, Manju or Madhu?

Who are they? Are you them?

No I am Sheena.

Then why do you do the things they do? Why do you follow a norm like they do?

Come on, look at you, where are you? Why are you here? Do you want to be in the drama of life?

Or just play your role , and move on..

The drama is on, and you are here to play your role.

But remember to know when you are done, and move on to the exit door.

Most of us clamber in, unable to get off, and there sweetheart is the place we are all in.

Well the cycle of life, goes on, its up to you to go on, or get off.

There’s a trick in here, and as I ask,

“Who’s tricking us”, a clock ticks within.

For it is a tick tock without a hop off.

Want to see how? It’s worth a try sweetie,

Firstly don’t do the things others do,

For it’s just not for you,

Yours is to explore the beauty called life, with the eyes of your heart, and not your mind,

For when was your mind ever kind, to let you see even you?

All, along it chattered away without a pause, letting you live in time.

Clouding the today with memories of yesterday, for as soon as you saw the wonderful morn, it brought in the dread of a yester morn.

Time never stopped to let you rest a while, in the laps of nature earth,

For the minute you did so, it drew you back into its realm of the unreal.

A prisoner you were to it, knowing no way out.

But then you grew smart and wise, and with wisdom came the now, and with it brought in awareness, and then dear friend,

You did the impossible, you attended in your awareness,

That is when you could scamper out, and meet the person you were meant to be.

For sitting beside the fireplace, you see the sparks on a winter evening, and your heart warms up to the special warmth you have from within,

Your heart just took over…

Nurturing you in its warmth, and telling you to just be, was all you wanted dear friend.

You live to be the person you are, and to naturally do what you’ve come to do.

And then new avenues open up, the right ones, and you’ll know they’ll take you, to where you ought to go.

And, then you leave the circle behind, leaving Eena, Meena, Anju and Manju, and no please don’t take Madhu with you, leave her behind too.

Then you’ll see, people of different shapes and sizes, all united into a magnanimous whole.

The pieces of puzzle fit together, don’t they? and no longer are you puzzled, as you see this wonderful picture of life unfold in front of you.

So as you traverse this journey of life, you see the things you would never have seen, had you not moved away from the maze of life.

But no we ” the so called intellectuals” don’t see, instead we follow the path of the outer circle, where one is ahead of the other,

One has to race ahead to keep the others following, and in our race to do so, we remain within the never ending cycle of space and time,

Never ending, never being, just becoming and becoming, and becoming.

What ? A bundle of stupid intellectuals, who run a course,with courses and courses,

The online ones, and the offline too.

The career ones are okay as they course your path for a living, but then you are not done,

As everyone does that, how could you be the better?

Go ahead sweetheart think hard,

Yeah you guessed right, knowledge darling,

Isn’t it the winning edge?

You could tutor or learn, both seem good, as one entails the other.

But I think otherwise , for it’s all the matter of the heart.

Don’t you think you need to give yourself the luxury of time, and stop running so hard,

For within you, is the genius you’ve never ever met, the one who’ll set you on,

On to the path, of the end of a cycle, for the beginning of a new life.

And the award goes to…..

The best man, of course!!

Do you need to write a blog on this? I asked myself.

I swear I wouldn’t have needed to, for if it were not for these two little children, Vivaan and Sohana, I wouldn’t have anything to say.

We were holidaying together, and it was at the breakfast table, when these 6 and 7 year olds expressed their wish to explore around.

I offered to go along, and this little exploration, led on to a revelation.

Oh and what a revelation that was!

As we climbed down the stairs, off to our little adventure, they noticed that I was limping down.

That is when the cute little pranksters decided to take charge of our little outing.

Caringly they held my arm one on each side, helping me down the not so steep steps till we reached flat ground.

The weather was quite pleasant, and the view breath taking, so we decided to walk down instead of taking the buggy.

We had planned to go to the recreation area, and as I walked down with them, I noticed something that touched my heart like never before.

Nearing 60, I hadn’t experienced anything like this before.

On the go, and actively taking pride in my activeness, I had developed a subtle sense of ego.

By subtle I mean, one I was unaware of until now.

Now as hard as I tried to keep pace with them, I was unable to.

So we had to stop at every corner, where I found a bench to sit on.

Constant walking stiffened my joints, and to rejuvenate them I had to take little breaks to sit down more often.

Expecting children to be a little impatient, wanting to reach their destination soon, these two were otherwise.

Instead of complaining, they joined me in them, sitting around, laughing and joking .

I felt joyous and 6 again.

Enjoying our walk, we climbed a few steps up, and then a few steps down, till we were in the game room.

A few shots at table tennis, then off we went to the carrom board, the best game for all ages.

Since we were a trio, the winner was the one with the maximum coins.

Vivaan and Sohana had a special bond, one difficult to understand, for when we began our game it was strange to see them play.

Each played consciously, not trying to get into the territory of the other.

And also amusing was that if one had already won more coins than the other, and if they had equal chances of striking a win, they considerately let go.

This was a game, and we had always learnt to fight tooth and nail to win.

They showed me a different way.

For as I saw Sohana reaching out to strike a coin, she looked at Vivaan, asking him if he wanted to strike it.

I asked her why so?

She retorted back, ” I don’t like him to sulk”.

I like it when we laugh together.

I told her to strike it, and as it went into the pocket, Vivaan who would have been perturbed, just let be.

He looked a little dismayed at first, but then thought better of it.

He let her enjoy the glory of winning, and as he played his shot, he gave it his best.

Neither did Vivaan nor Sohana intrude on a coin in the other’s territory, thus making the game enjoyable.

I enjoyed myself, playing just to be in the game, enjoying their strive and spirit.

For as we got up it was a win win situation.

There was no winner or loser, there was us, enjoying ourselves.

Then , as I caught a gleam in their eyes as they looked at each other, I knew for sure, that it was their win.

A win over life’s illusions, which were made of lose and win, of achieving and hoarding,

Here there was none.

This was a sure win.

A win which had no lose.

These kids taught me something today,

That there is abundance, of everything for everyone,

Just focus on your needs, they are there within your reach.

For the minute you go beyond, these,

You steer off the guiding radar,

And step into another’s land,

Where you are lost to your own forever.

And now we can say the award goes to them,

It is without any strings attached,

No fame and acclaim,

It’s just there, beyond the illusionary one,

For those who know their pick.

It was there for these two little innocent pranksters,

who though cried and laughed, like all did, were yet so different.

And as we took the buggy home,

I knew the award went with them. The best men…

The breeze brushing against their smiling faces could tell,

They’ve reached home wise with a message to spell.

That life is no race to win.

The win was not to be in the rat race , but in being out of it.

The very watching was the win.

And as I discover this its cheers all the way,

To these naughty pranksters, who lead the way,

To the award which can be ours too…

The unsaid award, with no acclaim, fame, possession, none at all,

But when you receive it, you know your there..

You’ve won the game of life…

Ringing in 2021..

Thank you 2020.., for if it were not for you, we could never see 2021 as we ought to.

Now as we welcome in 2021, we know it is just not another new year, its our chance of a lifetime,

It’s a new us, entering a new year, knowing that until now we never lived,

For it was 2020 that showed us, that life was not just what we thought it was,

As prior to it, were we not on the page, where work, money, power and glamour, were written?

What 2020 did was to erase that page, and as it erased each bit of the bold writing,

It rewrote a new one, titled ” Loving Being”.

When we crawled into the 1st quarter of 2020, life’s meaning was unknown,

All we knew was that life was ours to give and take,

For power, fame and money was all, we had and knew.

The ones who didn’t have it, ran the race to reach it, and the ones who had it ran faster, so as not to be overpowered.

The only stop, was a break called rejuvenation, the one which was far from it all.

As it was another show of power and glamour, called entertainment, or even a relaxation, which was not very different from a bulls fight or a boxer’s ring, where all you tried to do was thinking you were enjoying or relaxing, when in actuality it was none.

Either you were in the ring or outside, it made no difference.

Then came March 2020, and what happened then made all the difference.

Nature power took over, and showed us the way,

We resisted a lot before we gave way,

Initially we felt like prisoners in our home, trying to find a way out.

We were all shut out, out of action, money and a crisis unheard of.

But that dear friends, was in actuality none of the above,

It was merely a crisis in our thinking.

Intelligent mankind had grace on his side, when he intelligently developed technology,

However having technology by his side, he thought himself all mighty,

That was when grace gave him the slip, and then technology became a hazard in his growth.

As grace slipped away, mankind used technology disgracefully,

The powerful people used it to gain mileage, the weak used it to think they were powerful.

So the first few months were spent in information received, some true and more false.

As the mighty squandered it away to gain mileage, using it unwisely,

It proved to be a deadly weapon, instead of a powerful arm.

The intelligent man became a mechanical robot.

And that was one of the reasons of this calamity.

As grace was disgraced, it created more fear, anxiety, and fury.

Then what happened changed the scenario altogether.

For a few wise among them realised, that life could not go on, this way,

They went back to distinguishing between needs and wants,

And realised that dropping frivolous desires was all that was.

Suddenly in came back an intelligence once lost,

They let go of it all, and submitted to what came their way.

Then came the break through, for this was not a crisis,

The crisis was only in their thinking, and conditioning, and as they let go,

A new wave came over, to set the way.

For now as we ring in 2021, our hearts sing,

The song of joy, as nature did say in its in numerous ways,

Let go, let be and then see,

You’ll reach the shore of the morning sea,

Where all is bright and light..

A perspective to a new life, opening up new avenues in life..

Let’s welcome 2021 together….

Loads of Love darlings….,.

Living is Relating…

This one’s fresh, as it just came in..

How did it come in? you might ask.

Well here we go..

It all happened this morning, as I watched our 15 month old grand- daughter, relate to the crows and sparrows on the kitchen ledge.

Meher, is visiting us for the first time, and it has been wonderful having her here with us.

Her fresh essence, brought to mind this,

“When you sign the lease to life , you prepare to enter into a world where living means relating..”

Slowly and gradually as you become aware of all things around you, your eyes relate to it all.

The days, nights, summers , winters, heat, cold, pain and pleasure, slowly we relate to it all.

As we grow older, we start relating to everything through the experiences we’ve had.

The sweet smell of rain, may be pleasant to the ones who’ve enjoyed them, prattling in the knee deep waters, and sailing boats in them.

However, the ones who are stuck at home, knowing they can’t step out, and observe dark clouds, from within, find the rainy season dreary and dull.

We accept and go with the flow, yes wincing at times, and then as the wince turns into a smile, there is a relation between both, and that is it.

The cache is for us to catch while we are here,

And Meher did find it for me, this fine morning.

She began to slowly relate , to everything around.

Meher, was fascinated when she saw the crows and birds sitting on the ledge, outside.

The first day she saw them , it seemed as if her eyes would pop out of their little sockets.

But the very next day and the day after, she got so accustomed to them, that she would wave at a far off crow, perched on a tree across the window ledge, inviting it to come over and partake the food on the ledge.

She related to the whole thing so naturally, and got so used to the surroundings around fitting into our routine like a hand in glove.

Having met all of us for the first time, since her birth, it seemed rather amazing the way she took to all around.

A pure fresh soul, she is just what she is, and she relates to all around as if they are one like her.

No pretence of what she is, no assumptions of what you are.

Her little taste buds, explored different types of food, and she wanted to share them with all around.

She hugged and kissed her big brother Vivaan, with love and warmth.

Then I saw compassion emerge from her, when she saw her mother in pain as she hit the base of the table while walking.

Rushing up to her she hugged her and cuddled her warmly, offering solace and comfort.

What was this? I asked myself, and with all earnest, something flashed,

As if like a torch light, which just flashed its light on an unseen object in a dark cave.

That object, which was in darkness always, suddenly came to light.

Like a mirror, which reflected our true selves, as we are, and not as we want to be.

Letting the incident pass, I woke up the next day, and while exercising heard J. Krishnamurti’s soothing voice, as he spoke in one of his lectures,

He just happened to mention in it, that we are moving in a corridor of opposites, as we are in constant conflict, wanting to move from being to becoming.

We could never be there were we are, for as soon as we walked through the corridor, the opposite beckoned, telling you to get better, for eg: An angry you is you now, you cannot say you shouldn’t be so.

You are angry now and that is your concern.

You shouldn’t be so is not your concern.

Aw I had goose bumps,

Oh its just coincidence you might say, but I felt it was much more.

It told me to introspect and accept .

Acceptance to what is.

A relation was made, and before I knew it I related to my anger which is me, and it vanished.

As I came out of my trance, I saw baby Meher prancing away joyously, as she got attracted to my medicine strip.

My efforts were all focussed on getting it out of reach before she could , and gosh I succeeded, only to see her sweet smiling face puckering adorably, as she began to cry.

Aw my sweet heart, what had I done?

With the same gusto, I flashed a colourful attractive bottle at her, and I was indeed pleased to see her smile, as she rushed and grab it.

But Alas, she fell.

Worried I looked at her face expecting it to pucker with pain,

I was astonished to see her pull herself up with a naughty glint on her face,

As if to say, ” There certainly is no gain without pain”.

She won her prize at last, and triumphantly showed it around to all of us,

Clapping for herself, she urged us to do so, and as we clapped,

It brought home the point, that losing and gaining seemed related.

Then were they of any significance?

As I asked myself this , the question seemed significantly unimportant,

As winning and losing , pleasure and pain are just sides of the same coin,

we just can’t let go can we?

For every time we think of doing so, the win and pleasure side of the coin, stares back at us, propelling us to hold on,

Now sweethearts its alright if you enjoy them then, and not ask for more.

And while doing so, remember the Meher way,

Enjoy the win and the pleasure for the moment, and let go,

And relate to the flip side , knowing that this too shall go,

Leaving behind a sense of joy.

The joy of relating to everything, and everyone.

The core of living a “La Meher style”.

The dark night….

“The night is dark and I am far from home….

Lead kindly light, amidst the circling gloom….. Lead thou me on”

This hymn by Saint John Newman, suddenly came in to me, as I once again sat at my desk.

In came this observation, all nights don’t seem so dark, do they?

Well, of course not, came the answer from within.

However, as the sun sets, in emerges darkness.

In actuality the sun never rises and sets, however it appears to us that it does, due to the earth’s rotation.

What seems to be an outward phenomenon, seems to be reigning within too, causing me to realise that the sun never sets..

You just move away, when you choose to ignore it and plunge into darkness.

Nostalgia just set in, and I reminisced my stay at Vandevi, my jungle home, where being close to nature, I got to understand its phenomenon, within and out.

The morning sun rise always gave me a certain high, making me joyously intoxicated as the birds chirped and peacocks squawked joyously around.

At dusk, a sinking feeling arose from within, and as I watched the sun set, the birds fly home, well that was when my heart sank as if all was lost.

This happened for days at end, until one day I observed deeply . The darkness was within me, I had moved away from light.

As I looked deeply at myself, aware of what was taking place from within, and seeing what just happened, a transformation took place.

For instead of trying to find reasons and ways of overcoming this feeling, I looked at it, accepted it and surrendered.

Hands up I told myself, and as I did so, everything seemed so natural as is.

Nature has a way, of teaching you its ways, if you let go and look deeply into it.

Its wonderful and then came in a feeling of ecstasy, one I cannot describe.

On this very note, I discovered another intriguing one.

Accepting the night is one thing, and sleeping soundly through it is another.

A sound sleep at night , calms your body and mind,

A natural balm to the weary mind,

Then why does sleep evade you,

and when it eventually does come to you, why does it robs you of its soundness?

That is when I asked myself,

Did I miss out on goodness?”

Awaiting an answer eagerly, here’s what sprang up,

A sound sleep at night is a gift for the wise, who know how to conduct their day,

For a lost day, leads to a lost night.

A lost day, is one, which starts off in a rush, without any meaning or order,

Doing things you have to do, without really being in them, grumpy and unkind to all around,

And as you go about without the goodness of being, you rob yourself and cause pain around,

Then for sure, you have all night, to brood and repent, and try to put in order, the disorderly day.

And if by chance you happen to sleep, you’ll be working all through the night in your dreams,

trying to change the events of your day, and rubbing soothing balm on the wounds of the ones you inflicted.

As my heart sang ” For every job that has to be done, there is an element of fun, in the most delightful way” ( Mary Poppins, Just a spoonful of sugar…)

I then asked myself, “Could I enjoy work during the day ?

So to me a task well done, with fun is the order needed to straighten up everything.

Out with the tangles of disorder, I told myself.

By order I mean, not a time table day, but one enriched with the goodness of being,

One in which I am aware of my every action, and my every action am I.

And then as the day passes off, into the night,

A strange calm presides over,

Changing the disorder, into an order , and

Now, as I rest my head on my pillow, I am one with it.

Dead to the world, I sleep through,

As my day turns to night, the order of the day, becomes order at night.

Order within and out, and order flows to order,

For can you ever imagine a messed up disorder, suddenly transform into order?

The wise men were the ones who always wanted a good nights sleep to rejuvenate for a new day.

That new day will have all the order, as a well rested body and mind , can never have a disorderly day.

Cheers to the wise, and as you welcome the night, you know that all you want, ever, is to sleep sound.

Wise men always cracked ” Do your job well to have a good night’s sleep”

The connection of the day to the night was never so clear earlier as it is today.

So guys , the crux in life is to know what you want,

And as we wade through life’s ups and downs, all we need is to end it all,

With a good night to fall back on….

Good night to you all…

The Black Cat.

It was a fine, Monday morning, and Elena was busy getting breakfast ready for her little one year old, Andy.

Andy walked around exploring treasure zones, peeking into cabinets, and rustling out all the colourful packages from the cabinets.

These were her favourite things, and as soon as her day began, she enthusiastically, tried climbing off her bed, remembering her favourite things.

Her mother looked at her cute little bundle, with mixed feelings.

She was cute, and spritely as well as naughty and a handful.

Elena looked at her in awe, however the awe turned into exasperation, when she saw Andy run out and ruin the shelf she had just recently tidied.

Andy was a handful indeed, but then, wasn’t that why she was so cute?,

Was it too much to pay for cuteness? She smiled as she wondered what was in store for her today.

As Elena bent to scoop up Andy and put her on her royal high chair, for breakfast, her eyes wandered towards the glass door, which opened into the back yard.

She was taken aback, at what she saw.

For perched on the parapet, she saw a pair of wild blue eyes looked right into her.

The eyes were frighteningly bold, and as she looked at the frame in which the eyes were set, Elena turned cold.

There seemed to be something very blood curdling about this creature.

It was a huge black cat, and it seemed to be menacingly gauging her.

Tired and weary as she was, she realised it was just the start of the day, and there could be lot more in store.

She was home alone since a year, and the prospect of stepping into the back yard with her little daughter, now seemed far fetched with the menacing cat in sight.

She wondered as to its gender, and as if to quell her curiosity, the cat stretched itself out too its maximum, revealing to her that he was male.

Her curiosity satisfied, she went on doing her daily work.

However Andy had other plans. She looked at the black flesh of mass, settle itself on the ledge outside, with its tail curled under it.

She went as close as she could, and would have loved to touch him, but then the glass door restricted her.

Elena heaved a sigh of relief, as she did not even want to think of Andy touching him.

Then suddenly something very strange took place.

The black cat got up, and came right up to where the baby was standing.

She lifted up her paw to hold Andy’s hand trying to shake hands with her.

The two were separated by the glass door, but suddenly it just did not seem to matter.

They looked at each other, and slowly Andy began to babble away in her own sweet language, the cat meowed in unison, and then continued a string of baby blabber and meows.

Elena was amazed as she watched, and it suddenly struck her, that all was not as it appeared to be.

A while ago she had thought

“How could a cat come in and create a nuisance, in her already very chaotic schedule? Did she not have enough on her hands already?

Why oh why was the cat here?

Her mind raced on and on, and before she could know it had crossed all bounds.”

She remembered all disasters which had befallen her, and felt, she was wronged enough.

Then suddenly as she stood still watching Andy and the cat exchange sweet nothings, her whole world changed.

Things didn’t seem bleak after all.

What was this? She asked herself, and then she realised that this was order.

An order she didn’t quite really understand.

For wasn’t it the orderly universe, to have all of nature encompassed within , a place and provision for everyone.

Was not the black cat, Elena and Andy all together in it? Then what was it that she was shying away from?

Oh yes, once upon a time, a few years ago, there lived an Elena, who happened to go on a wild trip, with a few wild friends.

The friends were as wild as the trip was, and the wildness in them was depicted in their behaviour.

They tried to chase a black wild cat, and hurled stones at her.

Well she was wild enough too, she unexpectedly turned around and sprang up at Gerald, the lead bully, and scratched him so badly nearly pulling off his eyes.

Elena was horrified, and that memory stayed on, as she had carried it along with her, and brought it here to where it did not belong.

Today everything was in order, but Elena brought in disorder to order.

Today, had this black blue eyed cat, and Andy admiring each other, as they were.

What caused disorder to the order was Elena’s memory of the happenings of yester years.

Fear gripped her, making her insecure, and she just wanted the cat to go away.

Well, well right now the cat was busy playing with Andy and had no intention to leave.

Elena went about her daily chores, preoccupied with fearful thoughts, that she did not notice, Andy trying to open the door separating her from her friend.

Fortunately for Andy, the door was not firmly locked, and she managed to push it open.

She went into the back yard and towards her black friend who took a few steps towards her.

This was when Elena noticed Andy cooing away, stroking the cat and the cat in turn sat close to her purring in delight.

Oh what a sight!

Everything just vanished away, Elena’s fear, her insecurity, and the cold shudders.

Instead as she stood watching both of them interacting, she decided to let be.

Just as the glass door opened up, so did the barrier between the cat and Elena vanish.

Elena looked at the friends with love and compassion, for now she truly wanted them to be friends.

She just wanted Andy to enjoy and explore the world for what it is, and not through tainted eyes.

Don’t we all have similar stories?

Aren’t we all Elenas, who don’t seem to let go of anything?

Don’t we accumulate, almost everything , which ever happened to us?

Don’t we all live fearful lives, faced with unknown non existing fears?

Does the black cat in our life haunt us forever?

Why can’t we perceive its extended paw of friendship, and move beyond?

Just then Elena knew, she had perceived what is..

She smiled as she picked up Andy, and winked at darky, as she bade him good bye,

For she knew then that tomorrow would be another day,

Where in the backyard, the friends would play,

And she would be a silent spectator, who would look on….

There was a glow of love, all over her, as she suddenly felt a cheer in the air,

The cold dreary despair, had given way to a freedom unknown..