In the Final Drive……..

When you see yourself , your true self, your essence, as a soul in a role, and not you as the role, then and only then can you experience life as it is..

I’m fortunate to be fit in my 50’s, to be able to witness what life truly has to offer, 

In the final drive of my life, I wish to share with you, my experiences experiencing them.

The road awaits me, and the path is lit so I tread unto it, fearless and spirited onto a new beginning.


That’s when I read P.D. Ouspensky’s book,

Strange life of Ivan Osokin.

 Ivan Osokin makes mistakes in his life, and as a result loses the love of his beloved Zinaida.

 Ivan is suicidal and then he meets a magician, whom he implores to restore to him his past years, by taking him back 15 years into his past.


He would then avoid the mistakes he made, of getting expelled from school, disinherited by his uncle, his bad behaviour, which gets him to lose his job, and squandering away all his inheritance in the casinos.

Ivan tells him that he knew the mistakes he had made all along, and since he knew so, he would be able to change his destiny, if he went back, by not committing the mistakes he made.

The magician tells him, that even though he knew his mistakes, he would make the same mistake again, but on Ivan’s insistence, gives him those 15 years, which he had lost.

A very interesting story, where we see despite the lost years he regained, Ivan Osokin makes the same mistakes again, and is standing exactly where he was.


When he went back to the magician after making the same mistakes again, the familiarity of the magician’s surroundings, told him something in despair, that this was not the first time he had visited the magician, and that he had asked for the same thing earlier too.

He realises that this is a trap, and that despite getting many chances he is back in the same whirlpool of life.

Circumstances may change, but there is no doubt not even the slightest possibility that he would not make the same decisions.

That is the trap of life.

Knowing everything and remembering it too, cannot change anything.

For one, holding on to painful memories will want one to get rid of them, and then one forgets.

Even if you remember, then by way of habit you would do the same thing again.

Trembling out of fear of the self as there seemed to be no escape from the cycle called life, Ivan asks him for a way out.

Now the magician is relieved as he feels that this is the 1st sensible thing Ivan has asked for, and from now on he could evolve.

  The magician tells him, that to change his destiny, he must change himself, and that requires immense sacrifice.

The magician tells him to think and make a clear decision of giving himself up to the magician for a period of 15 years. He gives him time to think.

Knowing this too, Ivan hesitates as giving himself to the magician, for 15 years, and not being able to move ahead according to his autonomous thinking, seemed undo able.

 The magician tells him something about a horny gentleman who is the devil and has a lot of power to oppose him and to stop his growth.

Here the book gets symbolic, and clearly denotes the divine power within us as the magician, and the obstructions, which come along  it as the Devil.

Ivan realises that he still has the loaded gun on him, with which he wanted to commit suicide. He decides to go the next day to meet his girlfriend before he decides, whether to accept the offer of the magician.

The book ends with him getting up the following morning, and as he sees the morning hustle bustle he just realises that life can go on without him, and everything would be the same.

Ending on this note, the author successfully implants in our minds, the actuality of how we look at things and our way of conducting ourselves despite  circumstances.

We behave in the same manner.

Circumstances do not matter.

A beautiful story symbolising life and You.

To churn in the maze is the characteristic of an ignorant man,

To know you are in the maze, puts you in the category of a knowledgeable man,

To try to get out of this maze, is the strive of a man equipped with knowledge and being.

To get out of the maze, requires hard work, sacrifice and an intelligence, putting you on to the right track.

Are we not all Ivans, who desperately want to get out of the churning our life meets out to us,  but do not want to get out of the habitual behaviour we are so accustomed to..

Can we give it a try?




3 thoughts on “In the Final Drive……..

  1. jai Mata di commendable…. The Blog…. Not me…. cause i am commanded by my Habits…. Will surely give a try…. god bless you.


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