Sipping my hot strong coffee, at Coffee by Di Bella, my favourite joint, in that wonderous space under the skies, my eyes met a confidant smart remarkably cool lady in her 50’s. She seemed familiar, and as she came closer, I knew now, no I didn’t, did I? A little more closer, and yes I squealed she was Bela, my childhood friend. But wait was this the same Bela? The one I knew was not like the one I saw, but yes she was Bela alright, and then her eyes met mine, and the next thing we heard were our voices, ” Aw Deepi , Oh Belaaaa, we excitedly squealed causing heads to turn, and as we smiled so did they, as if to say we too are equally pleased to see you both together again.
Wow sometimes wonderous things do happen, and today was one such day.
Bela and me were childhood pals, however, as we grew older, our paths separated, and now nearly 30 years later we met again.
A shy and complaisant girl she was never one of my kind, but there was a chemistry between us, and we hit it together, till we completed college, and then she went abroad for further studies.
Initially we were in touch corresponding through letters, and then slowly the letters diminished and discontinued. Those were the technology unfriendly days.
So now as we met, a hurricane of emotions leading to moments of the past reigned the present.
We saw each other with the eyes of the past, knew each other, or thought so we did.
As we delved on the past, we were surprised that we recalled each incident as clearly as if it had taken place just then.
Then we moved on, to the various twists and turns our lives had taken, and I was shocked to hear, her story, of being over protected, to the extent that her parents got her married to a boy of their choice, she never had a say in it and neither did she ever think she needed one. Then her husband took charge of her life, ruling it the way he wanted to, and then came her children, whom she fended for, giving in the best years of her life.
She had accepted it all, as if that was to be her role in life, till one day, her husband came home all drunk, with another woman by his side, telling her to fend for the new love of his life and also told her that from now on she was going to live with them and no questions and no disagreements were to be entertained.
Well this was indeed the last straw.
Something got into Bela that night. I guess she saw herself for what she actually was and not for what she was made to be.
Bela walked out of the huge mansion in Hampshire, London which was her home for over 2 decades, early the next morning, firmly, leaving a goodbye note, and never looked back again.
She had grit, and as I looked at Bela, her new self just appeared in front of me, and I suddenly discovered that I did not know her.
I knew her, on the basis of her past, but I didn’t know her now.
That is exactly what I want to bring out to all of you, the past rules and reigns us.
We live in the present, based on memories, habits, ideas and conditions accumulated over the years, so actually our past reigns the present, and then when we reach tomorrow, our future, it will be reigned by our today present, which is reigned now by our past. So the past will even rule our future, and that is clear in the term we hear and say oft ” History repeats itself”, it is not just a saying, it is for you to know and change it .
Bela let the past rule her for 20 years, and then she realised this was not her, but an illusion within her, which lead her journey, and this realisation made her quit. History never repeated itself in Bela’s life. Today she is an accomplished journalist, and a confidant happy person, with no regrets.
Do not let history repeat itself, and special cheers to Bela, who could have continued her life the way she was accustomed too, and also compulsively brood over it for the rest of her living years.
However, surprising to note that despite all the disparity, the spark within her had not died off, and she rekindled it the day she decided to move out of her home of nearly 20 years, and begin a new life, where she did not let any of her past patterns, memories, conditioning, habits come in her way at that present moment and thus she created a future which was bright, and which led to an accomplished life, also she did set an example for all of us to understand and conduct our lives the way we want to.
“Deepi, I learnt to know myself, understand myself and now I am here in front of you, do you know me?? she cheerful said.
Ha ha ha, Bela good one, I’ll cherish this for keeps”.
And as we walked out together, everything seemed illuminated, making life light and understandable.
You are not a bundle of memories, habits and conditioning.
Discover your real you and live the life meant for this real you.
Bye for now…
Love you all, and more in the next, on the coffee table, side by side, with coffee brewed strong and just right..