From a mother in law to her daughter in law….
What’s gone wrong with you? said a voice from within..
Do you not know that this is a relationship which is impossible? continued that voice..
Forget it, however evolved you get, you cannot get past this.
A relationship far from cordial is what brands and seals the MIL – DIL, pair.
You really think so, do you? asked another voice, contradicting the first.
Then the first voice told the second one,
“Oh, but she just doesn’t listen at all.
“Many a thing I want to tell her,
Many a thing she ought to understand,
But oh my God, today’s children, they seem impossible.”
“You do not know how our times were? Do you? asked that voice to the other.
If you knew you wouldn’t be so childish in your defence of a girl who has just come today.”
Then continuing within the chatter goes on…
“How does she bring up her child? Oh my god, if I did the same I wouldn’t have been spared,”
“Today times have changed though, so is there anything to say? disgusted 1st voice goes on and on…
The other voice listened intently ,
I went deeper, and deeper and deeper…
Yes as I reached to the core, I realised this was just a score,
For as the deeper voice within said,
Deepi you need to be dumb not to understand,
But as you go deeper still,
You will see that underneath the shades of grey ,
Is the true woman of understanding, who understands the other,
Life is not a score you settle, and try to hold on to the mantle for as long as you can,
Yes this mantle is the mantle of seniority, sacrifice, and good will, a position you strived hard to earn in your yester years.
But then, just realise that they were yester years, and like seasons, they ought to change.
With the changing seasons, and passing of years, enters a new era, ushering the old away.
The romance of life is in its change, and as you change with times, its attractive light falls on you,
taking you away, into your new era.
Your new era begins when your daughter in law comes in to hers.
For as you change to accommodate her, you see things in their true perspective.
And then as you look at her with your eyes, you see you, as you were,
For were you not once a woman, who wanted her independence?
To do the things she always wanted to, to be able to run her house, and stand by her spouse,
Come storm or calm,
It was always a soothing balm,
To know you’ll were there together, in the journey called life.
You both walked , as two different individuals, supporting each other, in your onward journey together, never crossing each other’s paths.
Did you not want this too?
Well then as you did, so does she.
So does the boy who is your son, whose individuality you safe guarded for years to come.
And now as the time is come, to give him the life you sought for him,
Is your little me coming in the way?
Is it that feeling of “Oh I know best drowning it all?”, making you an intruder , the third , a crowd, in the cosy twosome.
For if so, know for sure, your me will get you nowhere but help you stagnate and rot,
And mind you , the one to help you move on, is none other than your daughter in law.
For the transition from son to husband could only happen , when she came in.
Is it not funny, that instead of looking at things in their right perspective, this transition is always treated as a threat.
So much so that a MIL /DIL relationship is treated sceptically, and each word any of them say to the other, is construed with hidden meanings.
The well meaning mother in law, always thinks she is the protector of the household, and is indispensable, and Oh my God, the trivialities become priorities thus making it the only way in life.
Sorry here, but the vastness of life is reduced to,
” What do I do?” & another one is “I’ll have to continue with less time for my activities as handling the household does not seem her cup of tea”, and so on and so forth.
These are age old stories running down from generations on..
Change it super MIL, cause super you are ..
As now on look within, and welcome her with the right intent.
Listen to the deep second voice which tells you
“This threshold, as you crossed years earlier, making it yours, pls open it for her, and let her feel she’s entered hers.
As she enters it, like a whiff of fresh air, a new wave comes in, new ideas, new ways, newer outlook to life comes in.
Its a new fragrance, and there is a wave of change.
Here is life beckoning you on to a newness profound.
Can you stand by her, hold her hand, and show her around.
Can you give her some of yours and take some of hers?
There will be days when many a thing you don’t like about her, as they don’t conform to yours.
But believe me its her way, her way of getting there to were you are.
Now it’s really up to you to give her this space, to bloom and grow forever.
For when she grows and blooms, you know for sure that the seeds you planted years ago have borne fruit.
Also as she blooms, so do you, into a new role, a new life, where you give up the mantle you’ve carried so far.
Yes the mother becomes a complete woman who can move on to discover the next romantic phase of her life carefree and light as she was when she came in.
To move on, change, yourself for you and her, and discover the magical moments which follow you in your onward journey towards light…
And now ,
An open letter to my daughter in law.
You darling can never be my daughter for sure,
However you are as much .
As you walk by your husband hand in hand..
My heart takes a leap,
As I see the truth in ” As you sow so you reap.”
The seed of love, has borne fruit,
And as you walk along with the man of your life,
I’m proud you are his wife.
Also as I go deeper within,
I find within a woman, who knew another one.
One who knew and understood the other for what she is..
Thus sealing a bond of understanding, and love , leading to a friendship of a lifetime…
Yes and this is it for you and me, as always will be…
A relationship so deep, giving meaning to living.
For as we move ahead together as friends, we’ve got to the very core of living,
Which indeed is the strong bond of its relations..
And as I move on,
I feel the winds of freedom, smell their fragrance, as I know for sure,
That my job here is done, and that love, care and compassion, will grow forever,
and will pass on to our generations to come, and in the environment around us, and also further away…
Thank you, for being you, as you are…
May you be always blessed forever…
Loads of love, and lots of smiles, as you traverse your miles….
On the journey to love and light….